It's all about life...

decision

2011-08-19T15:04:00.004+08:00

Sometimes things are just like this.. I'm not psychically tired, but mentally tired. And having this place to rant out my thoughts, I felt it's the best thing I can do to get things out from the bottom of my heart.

I guess this issue isn't gonna be about trust anymore. Only if she'll be able to put herself into my shoes, she'll know how heartbroken I am. To be avoided by someone whom u loved so much, and worse still, not knowing what's happening. If you don't voice out, u don't mention a single word to me and post funny stuff, isn't it logical for me to start having wild imaginations? I don't know your point of view for avoiding but if hiding can solve problems, then continue to hide.

Lately things hasn't exactly been a bed of roses for us, we've been quarreling so much more than usual. Just like what you said, it has somehow already turned into a daily routine, making us all sick and tired. Together with patience stretching thin, we're wearing thin.
When we argue, you'll walk away and I'll chase. Comparing you and my pride, you weigh so much more.. For an egoistic male like me to put down my pride to chase you, need I say more?
And because of both of us having this pride and ego ingoring each other waiting for the other party to kick off the ball with a text message, look how things are the way now?

Your answer came as a shock to me. Maybe that's why I was upset. I guess I expected a little more reaction out of you. Not entirely a huge hooha, but maybe just a little bit more.. How about putting yourself in my shoes? Maybe you'll see it the way I did.

I was angry. Angry because you've finally made your decision. When you told me about your decision, it was something that I couldn't believe. It seemed.. surreal. Because throughout everything that I've been through for the past 8 months, you've been there throughout it all. You've proved to me time and time again about the things you've said, and that you really meant them. But above all these rage and anger, I felt something else.

I was disappointed. Disappointed through and through. Disappointed because you never had the courage to tell me face front, nor did you ever replied back when I asked for an answer. Just an answer, that was all I asked for. It's hard to believe what a state we are in now, considering the fact that we used to do anything and everything together, the fact that we could be totally open with each other and not bother about what the opposite party would think; much less the world.

They say "Be strong because days will get better. It might pour hard but it won't rain forever." And like always, I've rebounded and here I am, better than ever, moving on with my own life, doing my own things. But then again, there are days that I think back and I can't help but to feel so.. unjustified. Feels like this wasn't fair in the first place, when did I even get a chance to fight for what was mine?

It really sucks when you miss that person so much that you look through the old photos, old text messages, even old statuses. And it brings a smile to your face, but then the hurt comes back and you know you shouldn't be looking back, but you couldn't help it because they really meant something to you and you thought it would lasted.

Looking back doesn't mean that I still need you. I miss you, I miss having you in my life, I miss having someone like you to talk to - irregardless of the topic. I miss you, the old you. But above all of these, guess what? I'm stronger now, I'm more independent ever since the day you've made up your mind and the day that I knew priorities had changed. Because of this, I swore to myself that I'd never let anything like this happen again.

I guess giving each other time isn't the priority anymore. If I give you time, who will give it to me? Considering the fact that I'm starting work soon, I cannot be distracted, I cannot be self-centered, I cannot be a loser. I had gave you much more time for yourself. How about giving me time and an answer now?

And after all that I've said;

I give a fuck, I give LOTS OF FUCK.

You Say- Elliott Yamin

2011-07-18T00:25:00.001+08:00

Sounds meaningful..

Life's been good since I came out. 5 days was a hell inside. But nevertheless, I've finally managed to sort out everything. Since she wants it that way, fine. I'm tired. Don't want to even be friends? It's okay. I got tons myself. I'll move on. (:

2011-07-18T00:21:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoAP6fHtpg0&playnext=1&list=PL81DE1B5CA311F654

This time, I'm gone

2011-07-11T14:52:00.002+08:00

idk if she'll be angry for hiding this from her, but I guess she won't be, as she already state clearly on her point of view. But this time, haha, i'm really gonna be gone for good. How long, I'm not sure.. But I guess it wouldn't be long if I come out..
Probably a few weeks, few months, but I hope it's just a few days! ahahaha!!

It's hard just to give up like this, but I realised I got no choices as well. If I don't, she'll continue to ingore me. And I guess, I've really done enough.
Love is not something we can just give up like this, yes in the mind, but not from the heart. Makes sense? If u love someone, he'll always be the person u think of somehow or rather. hahaha, but I hope when she's alone, she'll really take care of herself.
Guys out there, everyone wears a mask, I hope she'll be smart enough, to listen to me, keep to the promises she made to me, and perhaps when she's feeling all better, I want to stand a chance to be one of e candidates to woo her too. And I know, I can do it. hahaha.. But for now, I guess we'll just be friends..

Getting charged, I guess is something not I wanted. I did nothing wrong in fact, was being sabotaged in my armoury and as an IC, i need to take responsiblity. wtf? just when I was about to complete my NS. zzz. There's nth much I can do. I just want to see her happy for now, keep to her promises she made, and live on.

Be it guys that woo her, I hope she can really draw the line and tell them off, sorry im unavailable! hahaha, i'll be happy though. I believe if fate wants us to be together, we'll still be, as long as our hearts doesn't die..

goodbye! (:

heartbroken

2011-07-10T02:59:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I just don't understand. I don't understand how she can work against her heart, her feelings. Unless she's lying to me? Otherwise I don't really know why.

She claims she still loves me, she said my answer was correct.. This is what I wrote if I didn't forget.

" Boy, I still love you, continue to hang on for the time being alright? Not now, I got lots of commitments, I got no time for you. But if u hang on, I'll definitely come back to you. Just that it's not now alright? "

If she claims this is correct, why treat me with such cruelty so much so that I feel so painful everyday? I just don't understand. I can see she still cares for me. But why is she ingoring me until the extent that sometimes I even got to BEG her just to meet her for 5 pathetic minutes? Why Why Why?!

Idk wads her relationship with that daniel guy. But there's something I'm sure of, which is they're chatting happily almost every night. She said she's busy with her projects, she watching videos. But why can she chat with him, and not even replying me a single message? Nevertheless, I still trust her. I hope she can draw the line clearly.. So much so that if all these guys are wooing her, they'll just be clear they'll only be friends to her.

But there's definitely something I can't deny, I'm getting tired, tired of all the princess attitudes. I don't mind her being like this, but it's just that.... It's getting too much. Too much so that it hurts so much, that I sob every night, roll lots of tears, for something that's ingoring me, not even a single word of concern. Yes, she have her own set of problems, but why can't she just handle things maturely sometimes? Keeping me hanging in e air, feeling all the pain..

Commitments? school? projects? homework? cca? No time for me? Stress over her own family issues?

Why can't she look things at another way? If I come into her life, can I be part of removing the stress, helping her with her allowances, with her family issues, lightening all the stress and burden she had, showering her with love. Rather than thinking I'm actually nothing but a piece of shit and trouble to her? Why can't she change a little of her thinking?
Humans always tend to think on the bad side, I guess there's nothing I can do.

If it's really my fault from the start, Seriously, u've punished me enough. U've tortured me enough. It's time for you to stop if u still love me, u're hurting me too much. At least give me some peace and happiness, some assurance. That's all I need.

Because, I'm seriously... tired.

its all about you.

2011-06-26T20:10:00.002+08:00

If you're reading this now, perhaps I think I still have a little space in your heart. You still bother with how I feel perhaps? Idk. I'm left with the last 5 days before I'm flying off, somehow or rather, I really wish to see u, but ur lies kept u too busy to even meet me for a second. I had a last wish, and I hope it'll come true..

faith

2010-12-13T19:14:00.001+08:00

At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up, and shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

:D

2010-10-29T18:57:00.004+08:00

Soldier Lim has done himself proud! LOL

I still miss you, and I'm still waiting for you, I want you, I like you, I love you! <3

And I don't know what to do because all I could do is to read and assume, and I don't know what should be my next step. I don't wanna leave my life to fate. I want to make a change, and I hope I'm applying the right choice.

It's completely immpossible to find a girl that won't hurt me. So I'll instead go for the girl who will make the pain worthwhile

Do you know what you should do if u love someone?

2010-09-15T21:31:00.000+08:00

If you really love that person, you must never enter into that person's life. You cannot bother that person. You cannot let that person be stupefied by love and thus be bewildered. Those who really love the other, must let that person exercise free will, and fulfill the wishes of that person. Let the person be free forever, and achieve his dreams free from care, let him be guided by the light of truth, and accomplish his own mission. If you really love someone, you have to let go..

And I guess, this is your answer..

2010-04-21T23:20:00.002+08:00

Camp sucks today, during COC parade, I reported sick, too sick to even walk. And guess what? That makes my first time taking an ambulance to hospital. Was some sort of unconscious because I don't really know what's happening in between. I got to get more sleep, but I just can't. Too many things on my mind. Perhaps if I could, I'll like to sit by the beach with her, and enjoy the cool breeze by the sea, you and just only you.
That will definitely make me feel much more better.

Aches in my both hands now, can't close them up as well. Tubes and tubes were inserted, at the point of time, I thought my deathbed was here. Lol, but I'm still fine. Humans nowadays live longer due to technology, but the process of it is freaking PAINFUL!

I guess the answer is all written on your face, but...

I'm definitely looking forward to see you again, coz ur voice plays like a tape recorder, in my heart.. <3

2010-04-20T01:25:00.003+08:00

Recently changed my blogskin, my blog hit counter finally hit 4 figure and now it starts from 0 again. Aww.

Another day has passed, been moody nowadays but I guess, I won't reveal my personal affairs and lifestyle down here anymore. Nothing much for people to know as well, and if you really want to, you can ask me personally. It's been 5 days since I slept an hour each. Really very tired, but I just can't make myself go to sleep without having a proper answer, ugh fuck! Fuck is the word to describe everything at this point of time. Sorry to be vulgar to blog readers.

Bus-ed down to office, and had lunch with her. I don't know why the feeling is soo different, I just feel so happy, so relaxed, like I'm flying. Is this really what people called falling in love? Getting deeper and deeper? It just melts my heart, even when she scold me. LOL. (EH IM NOT SADDIST). But I just love the feeling when I'm with her. SWEAR! LOL! (:

Learnt something today as well.. it goes like this..

Sow a thought, you'll reap an action.
Sow an action, you'll reap a habit.
Sow a habit, you'll reap a character.
Sow a character, you'll reap your destiny.

It's damn meaningful luh, for people who don't understand, sorry to say, you're too stupid.
Well some people keep saying eg( This is my character lah, I'm liddat one, what u want me do?) Some people just felt that their character can't be changed, and they want people to accept them for who they are, but I feel if you can't change your character, then change your habits. If you can't, then change your thoughts, change your thinking! If you're able to change your character, then your destiny will change, and your future will change. To be a better one, or to be the one you really love. Makes sense?
Two reasons why people always fail, they fail to change, or they change too slow. That's why it results in failure. And now talking about this, I didn't change fast enough as well..

And yes, for those who keep asking me, I'm single. I'm not in ANY RELATIONSHIP so stop asking! wtf. It's like 10 over people asking since a few months ago. Can't I just stay single? Can't I just get closer to the person I love? All I want to do now is to change, change and CHANGE, to suit everything she likes about me. To change to a better person, to allow her to willingly accept me from her heart. But the question is, it's been quite long.

Should I wait for you? =/

Big walk

2010-04-11T18:55:00.002+08:00

Looks good, wanna drive this powerful machine in the future. Things went very smoothly for 2010 so far, clinched a deal with fine palate allowing me to run 4 major events for the company. If everything goes well, my resolutions for 2010 will all be fulfilled. muwahahaha!

Well recently, there was this big walk that company had organised. We walked from eunos to lau par sat. Omg, that took us like 2 hours.. Sweated like mad. -.-

After e event, We ate satay and chicken wings and I went home after that, didn't join them for their rest of e outings coz I felt emo, and I don't know why. And guessed what, I puzzled a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle together in that night till 6.35am in the morning. It's a picture by the sea with a crystal phoenix diving in, and a couple admiring it. (:

And if u're reading this, your birthday present is finally completed. LOL.

我要把海挎在你的墙上，使你有烦脑的时候，可以看着它，把烦脑都给抛弃掉。

dreams..

2010-03-28T00:58:00.002+08:00

What are dreams? will they come true though u thought about them when u're asleep? It seems so real when I'm in my dreams, sometimes I wished I wouldn't wake up at all. Well, when I was young, there was a dream that almost came true, and it was pretty much a nightmare, which I wouldn't want to mention.

And recently, I had funny dreams as well. I didn't expect her to turn up when I was like dreaming about having a genting trip with VE people, sharing a cab when I realised that my passport was in another bag when daniel asked me to bring along a bigger one. That's how the dream started. I took a cab back which cost like 9.40? And I duno how come my home was suddenly in e-hub. And in the wonderful dream, my bag was left in a chalet when I didn't even go there before i left for e checkpoint to genting. And somehow, the chalet looks like a damn luxurious hotel. At the lobby, I saw here, and I know she's not supposed to appear. Dressed with a blue tee, with 3/4 brown skinny pants, she approached me and said hi, I bring you up. The first thing I asked her in my dreams was u've forgiven me? And I remembered clearly she said aiya nvm, so long ler, and she smiled and led me through the way. When we went in the lift, some construction worker knock something into my leg and I woke up. fuck! @!%^!@^%@#!

I felt remorseful. I wished I had never woken up, I tried to sleep back to continue my dream but I just couldn't. I felt soo good in my dream, my heart melted. But I just can't go back to where I was..

and perhaps, it's just a dream afterall..

NS; House-shifting.

2010-03-18T01:24:00.003+08:00

Ugh perhaps my blog is spoilt forever, or there's practically something wrong with my acc with doesn't allow me to upload photos. -.-

Sometimes to be frank, I just don't understand why some people die so hard to be PES A, or probably for ranking or status in the army. The way I see them backstabbing each other, sabo-touch one another, it's like... _|_
So what if you're an official or sergeant? First of all, that makes you to have more things to do, 2ndly, u need to do 10 rounds of re-service which will probably last till you're 40 years old, being an old man, digging a hole to sleep in the forest. unless ur annunal income is more than $130,000, which mostly sporeans can't achieve.

Really hate those people in camp, throwing their positions around. Yes u're like having the say in army but so what? U're a piece of shit when u step out of the gates.
I don't know, or probably is dued to their childishness, but they're like older or the same age as me. -.- lack of personal development. zzz

17th of march, yay, I finally moved into my new house.. Was renovated a few days ago, painted, but tmr gonna do renovation again. aww, cfm damn noisy. Love my room alot. with a bed and a cupboard, thats all. Zz, It's all courts fault. I damn hate them for the lousy service. I called to ask them deliver my furniture for me. And the lady on the line was like damn rude. 2ndly, she said to call back to let me know. And she didn't, next thing i called back, the line is closed. And it's like fucking 3pm and it's closed. Wtf, I need my wardrobe, my bed and everything luh. My Tv as well. knnb, spend so much money and I didn't get my stuff.

last but not least, the paint's damn freaking smelly.

LOL, recently I realized I've got lot's of stuff to complain. hahahaha!!

just realised I cannot delare my annual income to apply credit card, coz i'm in army, I'll go db for that. -.-
Yay, I fulfilled part of my 2010's resolution. I'm left with my license, Car, and my savings! (:

Moments of slience

2010-03-10T00:14:00.002+08:00

Haha, finally i remember about this website I had.. Been roaming through my mind about the stuff I did for the past few days. Though tiring, but I've enjoyed them. Somehow, I wished that sometimes I could turn back time, to undo what I've done wrong, What I've lost that were precious to me in my life. To enjoy the fruits of hard labour that I've achieved, with the person I'm still thinking of, and I love. However, no point crying over split milk I guess, there's always a bright future ahead of me, more things that I can achieve, more things that I can accomplish.

Things will always go the way I want them to, as long I've done my homework, I've put in my effort. Shifting house soon in a week's time. And I'm gonna stick a LED tv on my wall. muwahaha! light purple walls, and dark purple shaded curtains, my room will be the one, most will desire for. Looking forward to that! (:

No matter what happens, you can always do it, cause u're who you are, and I know you can do it.

New year resolution (:

2010-01-22T00:46:00.002+08:00

-My new Honda accord to be on the road.
-Citibank, Standard Chartered and UOB credit cards. ( Coz I'm alrd 21! (: )
-Achieve annual top 3 BM position in company.
-Burberry wallet.
-Red Dolphin top team! (:
-Annual Income of $60,000.
-Girlf !! HAHA :x

什么叫爱？

2010-01-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

这世上最遥远的距离, 是我在你身边, 你却不知道我爱你

CHANGE

2009-12-16T18:05:00.002+08:00

Well, recently there's a drastic change in everything. Places we normally hang out and stuff. The first one would be fashion. LOL, I spent almost 200 in a single day for clothes and stuff, and that happened in less than an hour. =/

What I need now is a mont blanc wallet and a gucci shoes. woo.. I'll get them during Christmas. Been to a few so-called rich man world places this few weeks, enjoyed myself, too lots of photos but a pity my bluetooth on the laptop is screwed, can't upload anything.

Oh yah, I remembered last week, I went into a shop to trim my eyebrow for 8 dollars. This stupid girl inside kept talking to me, laugh and laugh all her saliva drop on my face. Zz, and in e end, I duno why I got commit, I spent $127. SHOULD BE 8 DOLLARS LAH! *shouldnt have took MC on that day. ZZ*

In conclusion,
I NEED MORE MONEY!!!

如果有一天你能到我的心里去,你一定会流泪,因为那里面全是你给我的伤悲.如果有一天我能到你的心里去,我也会流泪,因为那里面全是你的无所谓!!终于看清了自己饰演的角色,也终于看清了你的心,原来我在你心中只是一个可有可无的木偶罢了

inactive

2009-11-30T01:30:00.003+08:00

I guess I'll be quite inactive here cause I found myself a new job. Soccer betting. LOL, everyday winning 300. I 5 figure income earner. HAHA. Bought myself a new phone, gonna buy more stuff. I'm buying a new bedroom set at ikea soon yay!

And last fri, the bloody crab got my finger, bled like hell. =((

Everything u need to know..

2009-11-24T23:27:00.002+08:00

was home at 5.50pm today though camp ended at 5.30pm, cause my friend fetch me home. Lol, so rare. He used to be a very busy person, after camp will go work. Haha, been so long since I last rode bike. Damn cool can wear helmet! HAHA, He drove like 140km, on e expressway cutting through cars, suppose to be damn fast and scary but however, I didn't feel anything. Like normal bicycle. The only scary part is when the cars are moving slow, and he moving fast inbetween them. So afraid I will bang into the side mirrors of the cars. Haha..

Yay, off till next monday. So next tuesday then book in. Haha, sian, duno what to do oso. Think we'll go crabbing again. With weiyi! =D

Yesterday went to drink with him, and he drive somemore, but he drive car, not bike. Haha, went all the way to pasir ris to fetch a friend home, then he drove me home oso. On saturday we went crabbing he oso drove. Damn shiok. Haha, he's a speeder as well. I realised youngsters like to speed, I think I will too when I get my car next year. We caught monster crab in the sea on that day luh, tmr I free then I upload e photos, damn lazy to blog nowadays due to camp. Soo tiring.

I bought a new phone. Yay. 200 =(
Spend like 800 since 10th nov alrd. Wtf, sometimes I wish Atm machines just dont work, so I can save.. Cause Weiyi and I went shopping, and next mth I'm buying my bed, cupboard, table etc.. It's a bedroom set. $1399. Then portion of my savings will disappear again. Wtf right? Singapore expenses so high. zz.. I want to migrate to Canada! It's good there though. =)

I'll end here. =)

lazy

2009-11-20T12:52:00.003+08:00

lazy to blog recently, too tired with life, though i enjoy it. gonna go ikea soon to buy my own bedroom stuff like cupboards, bed, etc.. walau nobody sponsor me. =//

listen to some songs ya? (:

Send someone to love me.. <3

2009-11-08T21:52:00.004+08:00

Cool uh? Haha, at e end of the day, which is on friday night, we caught a total of like 50 flower crabs and one monster. I CAUGHT THE MONSTER ONE! HAHA!! =D

But I let loose one of e net we put in e sea. Cause it got stuck and I pulled hard so the string snap, walau! Inside got like 10+ big flower crabs lah. They all scold me stupid boy. :(

Went to james house to eat up those crabs just now. Damn shiok. LOL, I think we'll go again on friday night. We became regulars at the jetty alrd, now we have lots of friends there. Haha..

Yesterday went down to office to settle payment for e customer. Then went to eat alone and headed to camp for "night ration". Followed on, when I book out, went to find my friends. I was so damn tired cause woke up early, then go office, then go camp. waa! We went to jurong first to drink, then headed to town to drink again at another place. I freaking slept there and I didn't even know. Deep sleep sia. haha, at town. Then when they close at 2am, I wanted to go home to sleep alrd and weiyi say NO CHANCE. zz, then we headed down to another place to drink till 5am. wtf right? Liver confirm spoil, lucky i got eat cal phyto. lol. Ate a lil breakfast then cab home.

Had to wake up at 10am cause I had appointment at pasir ris. Zz, Closed the auntie a single, then headed for the next appointment at tampines. And when we freaking got there, the customer not at home. I sian half alrd dued to my fatigue. Then she fix another one, and that appointment to me is like, damn unprospectful. I thought it was a waste of my time. In the end go up, sold another single. LOL! Damn funny sunday I had today. And for travelling to east side today, I earn almost 1k for nth. I love myself for having such a good mouth. Can talk and sell. =DD

Cabbed to james house to eat crab after that. Then meet jiuyuan at 302 slack slack and then James and weiyi need to book in, so we went home alrd. I got camp freaking at 6am tmr. OMG, 1yr 10 more mths to go. =.0

I'll end this with a few songs. They're love songs, and I love them alot. Very nice.. Anybody who reads this post should listen.. =))

The rest got 2 more damn nice, but I cannot find on youtube. Zz, when I find i'll upload. Meanwhile.. enjoy!

Good night!

<3

Dr Wu and Dr Lim.

2009-11-04T21:52:00.006+08:00

These few days other than being bothered by NS, we were going siao onto crabbing and fishing. LOL, keep on catch crabs and fish. hahaha! Damn tiring coz we ton there, and plus the day before working in camp. But after all the laughter and enjoyment, it's definitely damn worth it.

After the day we saw the ghost, we went there again this time with James. The carpark disappeared. lol? Haha, don't care alrd. We're not going there anymore. This friday probably going to Punggol or Pasir Ris to try our luck there. =))

Some photos..

So basically, everything in the bucket died, cause doctor lim and wu had some operation to do, but all failed. LOL. =D

Those were small crabs so we didn't bother eating them so basically we played with them and did some experiments.

We came out to a conclusion. Crabs with no legs and no pincers cannot survive. Crabs with pincers but no legs can survive. But for maximum 1hr I guess? But crabs with no pincers can survive all the way, cause it'll grow back. So there's a poor crab that we plucked off every limb that it had, it died on the spot. and we stuck a sicssors into it's body to end it's pain. HAHA!

Biggest catch of the day! =D
First time I've seen a 1 and 1/2 foot long cat fish. It had spikes on it and we didn't dare to eat it. =x

This is abit blur, but motivating. =D

I've seen a shooting star yesterday, in fact 2 of them, they were beautiful, but I've decided not to make a wish...

2009-11-04T00:15:00.000+08:00

sorry for the inactiveness, will blog tmr coz im free from camp from last min notice. =))

was busy and too tired in camp the past few days. =/

Ghosty encounter..

2009-10-29T00:37:00.002+08:00

Cool man, we continued on crabbing the next day, this time we bought more crab nets. My appt was cancelled so weiyi came to pick me up at jurong east. Drove there and we forgot to bought tongs so we headed to sembawang shopping centre to buy, i tried to steal from cheers luh, kena caught. Damn paiseh! zz, u know those sell bao one? got the tongs, they saw me taking ask me put back. =(

We drove up to the park, it's damn deep inside, so it was quite spooky. In fact, damn spooky. LOL. Here comes the exciting part....

We saw this roundabout that we saw the previous day, so it's like 2 mins walk down and we can reach the jetty.

Weiyi : Eh park here correct hor?
ME : Yah lah, ytd also here wad, the roundabout.

Okay, so he drove in and park. And I tell him, eh spooky leh, ltr got pochong(ghost in malay) how? He say dont scare me leh you! He park his cark, we got the things and walked down. Damn freaking spooky, walked and walked, then something funny happened.

Weiyi : Is this the correct place anot?
ME : I don't know leh, how come the shipyard is here? I tot v far.
Weiyi : Uhoh!
ME : Eh faster walk back to the car leh.
Weiyi : OKOK!!
ME : Pass me one cigarette first, I put in ur bag!

We walked up back, put the things in the boot, and we look at each other! LOL. He quickly start his engine then drove out. And then guess what?

ME : Go where? In front dead end leh, the roundabout..

As he drove out....

Weiyi : Eh? where's the roundabout?
ME : Eh? disappear sia..

LOL, basically the whole roundabout, or I should say the whole road disappeared luh, so he continued to drive down cause we were like 1km away from where we want to go, and basically the roundabout went 1km away. WOO!!

We then saw the actual carpark, so we went in, and when he was like trying to find a place, I say park here lah, he said red one reserve leh, but then I look from the mirror it's white, we kept aruging then I opened the door and see, it's white, he say red. He went down to see, then he stare at me say it's white. LOL, I tell him u saw BLOOD! he got freaked out. LOL.

We carried on catching our crabs but our nets the hole too big, the crabs keep falling off, dropped like 15 flower crabs, big ones. Zz..

Creepy place. =.-

After that, went for supper then home..

Today we basically went out again, after appointment at Alexandra hospital, went to queensway, yay i bought new pants. hahaha, we played arcade oso. The u put coins in, then it'll push more coins to the tip and fall off that one? We keep playing coz we keep getting coins and bonus then we got 500 plus tickets. HAHA!

After that had laska then headed to west mall, watched the fucking boring show called heart locker. Then headed home to where I'm at now..

Fuk shit, tmr got camp. I'm turning in. Good night my friends.. =)

Crabbing

2009-10-27T16:15:00.005+08:00

Wow, it's the first time we had 3 times in a row doing fishing stuff. haha, woke up around 11am, was supposed to go for an appointment but it was cancelled, so I went to eat, then to meet a customer at 4pm at cck. After that weiyi came and we ate, and stoned, coz we duno where to go, in e end, we bought crabbing stuff and we headed to crab. haha!

Was quite fun though, we did it at sembawang jetty, starting there were lots of people, the whole park full of people. I think they're celebrating some god's birthday. For buddhist one. Next thing around 2am, there were no more people. haha! Only left we 3 at the jetty. Around 6am, we called for a cab but no cab wants to come in, we spammed comfort until 6.20, so we cabbed home after that. yay! =DD

Here's the bucket of crabs we caught. ^^

Around 4plus, I was damn tired, so I took out one small crab, and step it hard to smash it. LOL, I seriously got some idiotic fetish! =x

James took home everything to eat, we're going crabbing again soon, and this time, we're going to modify our nets. HAHA!

3 days of fun..

2009-10-26T13:09:00.002+08:00

On the 23rd during the night time, already started to celebrated my birthday. haha, although my birthday was on the 25th. Started to spend and drink. And thanks to all those that wished me happy birthday. And on the actual day, can't believe they bought a total of 3 cakes, 2 were meant to be eaten, and the other landed on my face. All over me, my cap all kena oso. Sian..

Worst thing is everybody got drunk, except me and james. Was planned supposedly for me to be drunk. Haha, but things didn't turn out right. Drink can drink, but must got limit. lol, finally I'm able to fulfil this phrase. Business ethics uh? lol.

On the next day which is yesterday, weiyi got car so we went bedok to fish and we caught like 54 half-size palm fish. Which means half e size of ur hand, some bigger. We stacked all together and people walked past keep woah woah!! lol!! Aiya but those caught was meant to use for baits, we were going for bigger fishes but there was no big catch yesterday, so we gave away those small fishes. =D

Then we headed to selegie to eat mac, was planning to catch a movie but the cathay was closed, cineleisure had no more nice movies, so we went home. AHH!!

Yay I'm having off for today tues and wed. No army, love this kind of life. Haha, worse is VE is giving me damn alot of obstacle just for one sales to come in. wtf lah. I just spent almost 1hr on the phone to settled it. Zz, lucky i got a few thousand outgoing free, or I'll kill the customer! =@

Am deciding whether to go office now, sian.

Thanks for ur birthday kiss! (:

Another fishing trip..

2009-10-21T02:29:00.003+08:00

Yesterday after work, went home to get my fishing stuff and went to Eunos again to meet my friends, weiyi and shinching. cause there was a sudden plan of fishing. lol, headed there at night and was quite fun, caught quite a few baits, but didn't have big fish. sad! =(

Something wrong with bluetooth, will update the photos soon. =D

The sotong was the most irritating part, when I tried to catch it to use it as a bait, it splash the blank ink on my whole arm. zz. They keep laughing, never even offer me tissue. lol.

Morning time, sweated like hell. We almost melted dued to the freaking hot sun. Was planning to go sun tanning at the end of the month, but I guess it's fine now, I'm super tanned, cause we fished half naked. lol.

Headed to Carl's Junior to eat, then we cabbed home. I thought fishing was a cheap sport, but we ended up spending alot onto the expenses like eating and travelling. Took cab 5 times, can u imagine? -.-

Reached home around 3 I think, didn't notice of the time cause I was too tired, slept till around 7 plus when I was informed there was Manager Session, ate then headed to office. Then now back home. Thursday's approaching and I'm damn sad, got to go camp again. The most undesired place I wished to place myself at. No choice, but the next month will be my 3rd month alrd, 1yr 9 more mths to go! =x

Your love dissipates like smoke, till a place I can never reach...

Soccer mania!

2009-10-18T15:51:00.002+08:00

So I just reached back home in like an hour ago, played soccer till 5am yesterday. Cool! LOL, mengwee sprained his leg, aww. And he got a new girlfriend! =D

I kicked into the ground and my whole big toe bled. =( Well, it's a chance for me to take MC too. =D

Well, feel so relaxed without the pressure of needing to go to camp. Show u guys this funny video of the monkey. omg, so smart.. hahaha!

Bored

2009-10-17T21:33:00.002+08:00

Monday's gonna be a MC day. sweet! LOL, cause camp's till 9pm and lucky we got the news early. haha! Yesterday was dead boring, After camp went drinking with friends then headed down to office.

Imagined I missed my stop and when I woke up, I was at tampines and had to train back. worse thing is when I reached, there's no training. Cool right? From West to East, then back to west again. Zz..

I think e previous day on thurs, I finally brought myself into a shopping centre. Been long since I visited one. lol, Ate with my sec sch juniors, went a lil shopping at popular then headed to NTUC and they bought bra. wtf. =.=

She complained I was smelly luh wtf. Zz, anyw I bought new deodorant alrd. (=

M not going home tday. I'm at jiuyuan's house now. LOL, was initial planning to go town cause I wanna shop, but then timing's too late. Wanted to go fico play soccer. but not enough ppl. NVM, I'm going town tmr to buy clothes myself, ALONE. =/
soo sad. lol

I just hope next sunday will be a great day. (:

Happy feelings for once..

2009-10-14T22:29:00.003+08:00

For once after soo long, my eyes depicts laughter! I finally had that happy feeling again. The feeling that I always wanted to have. After camp around 5pm, I went to do something I really loved, and I felt so happy, went to eat alone with a smiley face all the way and I keep smiling, cause I'm very happy! hohoho!! Met carol for like 10 mins? Then I went home after that. Watched TV, and finally I got a new house! Shifting after CNY. lol!

Tomorrow I think I'll go camp, and Friday, I'll take MC. yay!

Love,
Happy boy! =DDD

Worn out.

2009-10-13T03:42:00.002+08:00

Was almost late for camp today and I had to force myself to wake up, the feeling sucks.. I don't like camp, I don't like waking up at 5am in the morning just for a pathetic 400 dollars every month.

I've took Off for tmr, so I don't need to book in. Yay! Gonna take MC for wed thurs and fri. So next week then I book in again! LOL. But prolly wed I have to go. Thurs and fri is cfmed! HAHA!

Emo-ed again almost the whole day. Not totally because of NS, other factors as well. Just feel sad I guess? Didn't want to bother her everyday so I didn't sms her, and I didn't hear from her. This feeling is really killing me. Nevertheless, the best option is never giving up, cause the love I had, went too deep for her.

Feels like chucking everything aside for a day, and just spend a few quality couple of hours together with her, but I think I'll be selfish cause though I will be happy, she may not feel the same way as I do, the happy feeling. Same goes talking about love, it takes two hands to clap as well..

All I wanted was, a chance to love you.

9.40am -.=''

2009-10-11T09:51:00.002+08:00

Well, coming to camp at this time in camp and I could still be blogging shows that NS is definitely wasting my time. Zz, nth to do in fact? Couldnt Sleep much last night as well. =/

I waited cause you gave me a reason to.
I had no answers so I asked for one.
I asked for answers, and had no reply...

5 days.

2009-10-11T00:37:00.002+08:00

Let's see. woh woh wohhh!

Was super tiring cause I had only almost 4 hours of sleep each night, and it really killed me. Wanted to take MC but my bunk mate was kinda kelian if I did that, cause there was a lot of work to do..

Did escorting for some of my new weapons that was delivered to my camp. Firstly, I thought it was fun. But it's damn hot. Had to wear long 4, which means long sleeve army uniform. And when I was at paya lebar air base under the hot sun, I feel like shooting the bangalas with the SAR21 around my neck cause I had 5 rounds. Which means 5 bullets luh, lol. Was almost going mad, and lucky, I only need to do escorting for 2 days. Worse part is, the new guy that was following me, had totally no idea how to check the new weapons whether it was in good condition, tried teaching him but practically, he was too dumb. So I did the checking all by myself. Zzz, worse part was not the rifles nor the machine guns. It was the pistols. 60 PISTOLS! omfg lah. Anyw it's over. Hope it doesn't repeat again!

That was for tues and wed if I didn't remember wrongly. Thurs and Fri was quite slack, cause team 1 took over the sending of the food, so what I did was sleeping in camp. lol, from 8 to 12, it was sleeping, and 12 to 1 was lunch, and 2-3.30pm was gym. After that slacked and waited for time to go home. Quite negative, cause there was nothing to do at all. Zz.

In between this week, had to go to office as well to help out in the deco team for seminar, and some office stuff I guess? Haha. That took away my sleep to the maximum. However I found a faster way to camp so now I'm going to have another 1 hour more sleep for the next 1yr and 11mths. =/ Train was much more faster, I took train on thurs and guess what? It broke down. FUck right? zz, went down to call a cab, but no cab. In the end, I went up to take train again, had to wait 20 long mins, but guess what? I'm still early. LOL!

The happy thing is 10th is pay day for army! LOL, Practically, none of the NS men got money, except for the ones that just got enlisted. HAHA, so meaning I got mine. NS system is so cocked up, not only I got mine, but there was extra 240 dollars! LOL, nick got extra 230, and James got extra 220. LOL. I hope that happens every month, which is 90% chance it will. Cause weiyi got 800 every mth which was like extra 300. NS men therefore conclude the spore govt is rich.
When I told that to liu, she said I was wasting her money. Cause our pay is through the tax they're paying. HAHA.

I finally realised that I really LOVE her a lot. How?

medical certificate

2009-10-10T03:04:00.000+08:00

IM GOING TO TAKE MC TMR!

Been soo tired to the max that i neglected this website for 5 days, will blog tmr because i really need some rest now. =)

I don't know what to write here..

2009-10-05T00:04:00.002+08:00

Every sunday nowadays makes me feel melancholy and frustrated because I've to wake up like 5am the next morning to book in into army. Well? Life goes on profusely and there's basically nothing we can do about it, but we can make a change. =)

Headed on to office today around 3pm, supposedly to help out into the deco department but well, level 3 isn't open so it was basically called off. Zz.. Headed to food station to meal out with Zach and Ms Teo, then headed back to office to do some other stuff.

Around 7pm, I was told there's a open house in Siti's apartment so we headed down to Pasir Ris to had a malay style buffet. LOL, the food was spicy and sumptuous. But the tiring feeling which what I'm having due to lack of sleep nowadays seriously is burning me out to the maximum. Only if I had a wife, I bet she'll massage me every night. HAHAHA! =DD

Bus-ed home because all of them wanted to save money which did influence me as well. It's time for maximum saving this month. I'll see how much I can save. Hopefully the spending account can cross 4-digits, then I'll be happy. Cause next month I can shop like hell. lol, in need of fashion stuff including clothes, pants, new shoes, etc etc.. Who wants to shop with me please volunteer! =P

Backed home now, waiting for 5 hours to pass before I head to camp. Finally 1 month is passing and I'm still counting down. 1 year 11 months more to go. =.-

When a man works too hard, he has not enough time for her.
When a man doesn't work hard, he's a good-for-nothing.
So what should a man do?

caribeann and fico

2009-10-03T04:18:00.002+08:00

Hello all. yay I'm back here.

HAHA, actually blogging is good, help me to recap what happened the last few days to write out here when I didn't blog for the past few days, trains my memory. =x

Freaking damn bloody headache I'm having for the past few days is really killing me, alright, painkillers and panadol is not helping, so nvm, I'll die of pain then. zz. =.=

If I didn't remember wrongly, I woke up around 8am. LOL, went to exercise, then for a slow jog below my house. After that, went home to bathe and then for a hair cut because Captain say my hair is too long when it's close to botak. That's stupid. =xx
Ok, and he complained I got mustache so I need to bloody hell shave but the problem is I don't have a bloody shaver and I don't know where to buy one. Zzz.

Went to meet my agent around 1215pm to pass him a sleeping system sample, then liu fetched me to caribeann. The moment they reached there, they changed into their swimwear and went to swim. I sat there watching them as all of them are preparing for the swim and suddenly, all of them come to me and said, EH JASON, SWIM LEH! LOL. tio commit one sia. zz, so bo bian swim lor. After swimming, we played ice-man in the pool, those primary school games. And I didn't know we could have so much fun doing that. LOL, cynthia was like close to hugging me and I cannot run. aww. =x ALL DOMINIC's fault caused I tried to save him earlier on. LOL. And and yay, I taught her how to swim, though she didn't manage to learn it, but I did my best. LOL!

After e swim, we changed back and we went to take lots of photos. When dominic and zach uploads, I'll get from them! then it'll appear here! =DD

Went for the main event which was the ELITES night, for top personnels in the company to attend. It was cool, learnt stuff, and had a sumptuous dinner together with my friends and the board of directors, who are alrd millionaires. Zzz =.= !@#$%^&^%$#@@!!
I'll be one very very soon. =D
you'll see. HAHAHA!

Went on to Boon Lay to play soccer at fico, and at Boon Lay, guess what? I lost my whole bag. Wtf right? I left it on the floor and just board the cab without realising it. And I still took cab back to find, but couldn't. Zz, wasted money, but who cares? At least I tried to find. hahaha, Played without my shoes then, and I got a damn big blister in return. sian, damn painful when I walk around in office today.
After that, weiyi drove me home after supper near my house. =))

Went to office today, met a new friend of dom's called yvonne. Took my photo for seminar then went to eat with her. After that, headed back to office to help the poor deco team for LRN night. They have lack of manpower and the kind and helpful Jason Lim volunteered his precious and luxury time to assist and help out. Look how spectacular he is? LOL.

Bought mooncakes for her to eat, followed by helping and helping out till late night, which ends me up here writing to remember my memories! Till then, goodbye! Will blog again tmr!

Love,
taikib0ii

Exhausted

2009-09-29T15:50:00.003+08:00

Can't believe I told myself that I want to be on MC today. Yesterday was the worst day ever. I had such a serious bad headache till e extent when I turn my head, it hurts so much and my vision got blur. Had to do stupid packings in army and I really hated it to the core. But thanks to God on my verge of packing, I found a new pack of cigarettes! YAY! So happily, I went to smoke. And and, the feeling of smoking free cigarette is damn shiok! HAHA!

Before the packing starts, we had to brisk walk the whole fcuking camp and after that in for a swim. Zz, then the packing and after the fabulous lunch, I went to sleep till 5pm. When I woke up, the headache got worse. Still got to fall in and left after that.

Had to make my way all the way to Eunos cause little princess needs her file back. And her shirt yesterday was damn cool! LOL. look like a small kid, but head was too pain to even laugh. Placed e files in my locker, and I headed off to cck to meet my agent. Err so yesterday go office, is just to pass her her files? omg, I just realised that. =x But it's my fault also, coz I forgot to return the other day. =/

My agent can't meet me in e end, wanted to see doctor cause head was very pain, but weiyi called me so I chose to go out. Watched movie with him and Joyce, then he drove like 150km/hr home. zzz, then went to joyce's house awhile then to kim san leng to slack till 2-3am before we went home.

Sorry for the summon u got from fatimah! LOL.

PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS> It's damn touching..

All I need, is a little concern...

I'll be the prince, and you'll be the princess..

2009-09-26T21:03:00.003+08:00

Was damn tired last night. So I didn't blog, after camp was supposedly to head down to office for night training, but the trip from boon lay to eunos makes me super negative. Was too tired cause the previous night, only slept for 2 hours. Played soccer in the morning, followed by carrying bazukas! LOL. Then was tired so I went to sleep and when I woke up, it was 4 plus and was time to book out. HAHA.

Instead of going down to eunos, went out with James and Weiyi, cause hadn't seen them for like almost 5 days. Then jiuyuan came also. Went drinking and singing, but didn't drink at all in e end, cause I was too tired and then I'm afraid I'll be drunk like james e other night? lol. And keep drinking so much makes me feel like a fuked up and screwed up guy. lol, so I quitted alcohol for that night.

Weiyi drove me home after that. Speedo driver. His meter never falls below 140km/hr. James says he's a reckless driver, and he say, it's skilful leh, not reckless. Haha..

Went to office by 12pm, but was late around 15 minutes. And was supposed to meet 5 of my agents in e afternoon, for liu's grouping, but in e end, 4 didn't want to come becoz they overslept. Wtf? Did my rec after that followed by going for an appt at cck. Again, when I presented water, I was challenged by another brand of hydrogen water. And in my heart, I was telling myself, this customer just wants to waste my time. Been to like 500 appts alrd, I've been counting since 2yrs. haha, and there's not a time our water lost to the properties and benefits of others. I just don't know why. =/

Oh, had been smsing with amanda the whole day yesterday. And she said things to me which I felt it's quite true, and really made me brought back those unwanted feelings I had in the past.

She told me she felt guys in VE, are much more caring, mature and understanding towards people compared to the guys outside. Then I replied her, there's 2 reasons, either because they fight and work too much, and are too despo to find for girls, that's why they acted like so nice, to woo girls, or the 2nd reason is because.. they're just nice naturally. LOL!

She then asked me about how I feel about girls in VE, then hmm, I won't say what I mentioned to her, but she like.. told me how good girls are..

Hmm, she said girls nowadays looks for guys who are confident of themselves. And she feels a girl should be understanding. Most imptly not because he did well in his career, but never gives up to try when he fails. Ultimately she's always there to support him when he's down, and at the end of the day if he doesn't do well, she'll love him for who he is, because he had done his best for her and himself. Sweet right? If all girls had the same mindset, that'll be good. LOL.

We still talked about alot of stuff but I got stm, can't remember and my stupid NS phone can't save inbox. aiyo.. =/

But I believe if the guy keep doing and don't do well, and the girl accepts, he'll definitely feel lousy and kill himself. LOL, not say being ego, but well, guys need to have achievements in life. That's their dream, and same goes for me. I have my own vison, my dreams to fulfil. And giving up is definitely not an option in my notebook. =)

But I won't deny to manage my life, NS, and VE is tiring me out. Really is tired those kind. I have to wake up at 5am, stone till 5pm, and travel all the way to east side, then travel back to west side, and I don't even get 5hours of sleep each day. I don't know if this feeling is called stressed, but i'll overcome it, for the next upcoming 2 years. I'm strong right? LOL. =DDD
( can't believe I can fall asleep at 9pm, when I usually sleep at 5-6am. )

taikib0ii

broom brooom!!

2009-09-22T22:25:00.004+08:00

Woke up at 1 plus, went to office and left around 7pm after finishing my stuff. Life's good to the max. But e sad thing is, the boring routine is gonna start tmr at 5am.

Waking up soo bloody early, to go to camp. And I can guess exactly what I'm going to do tmr, 7am-9am, sleep. 9am to 12pm, Internet and facebook. =DDD 12pm-1pm, eat. 1pm-3pm slack and smoke. 3pm-3.30pm, bathe. 4pm- GO HOME!! LOL.

After finishing the ippt, life in NS seems to be soo slack, and fuk, I feel it's just wasting of my time in there for 2 years. After I'm done with what I have to do, I'll down my pes to F, and that's being exempted from army. Can stop serving. HAHA.

And james told me a way to take a 22days MC, omg. I'm so gonna use it wisely. Cause it can only be used once, to keng chicken pox. But it's gonna be a little bit painful, which I don't mind. haha.

Something that's on my mind lately, I've been waiting for each day to pass slowly, and I can't wait for that day to come, which is coming sooo soon.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>>

TAA DAA !

OCT 11th!! =DDD

Life is like a cigarette, you smoke till the end.

taikib0ii

moments of life..

2009-09-22T00:50:00.013+08:00

Chalet photo! lol. nice candy floss..

Had k-boxing on sunday 20th sep with ms liu, hui miao, amanda, liyun and e rest, had lots of fun, sang till like 6am.. To like pre-celebrate Jiuyuan's birthday which is on the 21st sep. HAHA and and, huimiao and amanda sings damn nice too. hahaha!

21st sep, We went to mind's cafe. Coz the birthday boy wants to go there. We ate and play boardgames over there, Hell they had like sooo many games, We had lots of fun, esp when we play the dog and bone. Everybody started to snatch the bone luh! LOL!

Went drinking yesterday too, and look at what happened to james. LOL

Pussy boy! reach home alrd, dont even want to go into his own house, half of his body in e house, e other half outside. HAHA.

Went to office to settle stuff for the team today, then headed to city hall to meet Jiuyuan and friends. Went to watch movie, the cartoon called 9. Not too bad, interesting. HAHA

Was still thinking of what Mr kit shared to me recently. Err.. he gave an example of like, a bf gf in a r/s.

He said let's say there's this girl, she found boyfriend A, so she liked him, and be together with him. But at e end of the day, she broke up with him, hurting him, coz she felt he was like too good boy, being together with him there's no fun. She wants excitement so she broke off with him and look for another one.

When she found boyfriend B, she loved him. And she be together with him, for a period of time later, she broke up with him, though he's nice, but she claimed he's too vulglar, doesn't care much about her, so she broke up with him, hurting him, and went on to look for another guy.

When she found boyfriend C, she loved him, she got together with him, but after a period of time, she broke up with him again. And she said he was too obedient, like a mummy's boy. Whatever his mum said, he'll follow and she doesn't like it, and she left him, hurting the 3rd guy.

Mr kit's moral of this story is, actually the problem doesn't lie with the guys. Breaking up with boyfriend A, B and C, is because she doesn't want to face and handle things, and she prefer to run away from problems and lead her life instead of solving it. In the end, she found no happiness. And she never ever will. Cause the problem doesn't lie with the guys, it lies within herself. Cause by running away, she didn't learn how to solve it, so the same problem will just keep coming back, and back. Isn't it? Even if she carries on to look for boyfriend D, E or F, the same problem will keep coming back again and again. And I felt it's true. Isn't what couples are facing this in relationships? And led to quarrels and break-ups. And I realised when someone faces a problem, they don't blame themselves, they like to say it's not me, it's him/her. Pushing the blame I guess? Even for myself, I think I'm like that too, aww. will change. =/
(And I feel, having another friend, it's definitely better than having another enemy right?) Correct me if I'm wrong. =)

And I quote myself a moral too, at the end of the day, no one is perfect. But when a person is willing to change for the better, he will still, not be perfect, but flaws will be reduced to the minimum, which I felt he's definitely perfect, for the girl that will be willing to love him.

Pretty isn't it huh?

I folded it myself. Using clip paper. Took a damn long time to learn it for her I guess..

<3

I should deserve more than what I deserve.

taikib0ii

too tired..

2009-09-19T03:02:00.002+08:00

4 hours of sleep really is killing me.. I even sleep halfway while working out at the damn gym in Jurong camp. zz.

I'll blog tmr, and this song brings out my feelings again. =/

11-13sept.. NS NS NS

2009-09-16T21:42:00.004+08:00

Well, I'm gonna squeeze everything into one post starting from the day we went to chalet.

Went to James house to help him brought stuff over, coz his parents were going for the chalet as well. And becoz u know parents are more kiasu, they want to bring alot of things. like sleeping bags, even a oil frying machine. LOL.

Okay when we got there, it's alrd around 5plus, so we started bbqing and on the first day, there wasn't alot of people so we ate like hell. First time bbq I felt so full. Haha, after that we went to walk walk.. LOL

2nd day's more interesting, we went to wild wild wet, James, Weiyi, Jiuyuan and I. I swear it's the last time I gonna take that 80 degree slide, I wanted to back out so much? LOL. but the float was like going down alrd. Omg, I juz realised my fear of heights is getting greater and greater. HAHA! After we bathed, Jason ong came. And we played arcade, and then there was this candy floss machine near the jackpot area. It says $1.50 per stick. I went to the uncle and say, Uncle I want a 5 dollar one, in one stick, he said he couldn't make it, coz it's too big, in the end, he made us a 3 dollar one. So bloody big! lol, bluetooth has a lil prob so I'm unable to upload the photo here. LOL, everybody see our candy floss they shock! HAHA! After that we went to watch Gamers, I fell asleep halfway, it's a boring show. =/

Same thing, we bbqed again and we had like 12 bottles of beer and 2 big bottles of alcohol. Didn't drink much the other day, only that fucking ivan. cb. And and, James sister's bf, is actually my good bro when I was in Dynamic Asia. OMG, such a small world. LOL..

After bbq, we felt bored. So we went to E!hub and guess what? we took neoprints! LOL. all james fault, he immediate press select, otherwise we had nicer photos to print out. aww! And we spent like 100 dollars on arcade. hahaha!

Around 2-3am, it was getting bored. We went to cheers and YAY! we bought a golf set and started playing. LOL, if anybody saw that, they will think we're crazy. Jason ong hit so hard, he missed the ball, and the stick broke. Everyone laugh like hell. He put the stick in front of his face, and say fuck! LOL. damn funny! then we started throwing the balls and using the stick and whack each other, coz there were 3 sticks. Didn't even play the golf at all, and the golf set quite ex, in e end, we threw it away! hahaha!

3rd day, it was time to go home, so I went to jiuyuan's dad shop coz it was his opening. The buffet is damn good. 20 over dishes. hahaha! After that headed to kbox, then headed home to sleep, coz next day was my NS.

Went back to office after that, was soo tired, soo fustrated, and then she asked me for help. I was damn reluctant, but then, though how unhappy I was, doesn't matter, as long as she's happy. And I don't know why I'm doing this. =x

1st day of NS, nth to do.. stone and slacked. 2nd day, i kena fucked for not wearing socks. LOL, played pool, watch television and I went home at 12pm. LOL. Today, NS is hell. I got fucked at least 20 times today. And I realised everybody in NS, keep saying FUck. LOL!

I'm in the armssquad. And because of the south east asia shooting competition, spore damn kiasu, want to hide all the guns don't allow other people from other country to see. And guess what? I had to oil over 300+ rifles, record their serial no, store them in a coffin like box, and tie it up. WTf, most of the job is done under the hot sun. And their NS definition of carrying heavy load, is FREAKING HEAVY. Whole palms blue black. Zz, and there's a total of 17 coffins stuffed with guns. LOL.

Anyway, after tmr, I have off from friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. 6 days off? LOL. I don't know, just freaking tired now. Need to sleep. =/

Will share till here, and will upload the photos during my off periods. Goodbye.

And girl, yes I love you. mwah! <3

tired...

2009-09-13T21:42:00.000+08:00

havent been sleeping well for the past 4 days, total 7 hrs of sleep for 4 days, im dying. and guess what? i have to go play soccer with my friends now. zz, got lots of stuff i wanna say up here that has happened for the past 3 days. LOL OMG!. i think i'll blog tmr, coz i have to wake up early to report to camp. Fcuking shit ns. zz

stay tuned!

shopping..

2009-09-09T01:39:00.004+08:00

Okay, maybe I should let the people knows why I'm blogging, bloody hell not because I'm emo. LOL, I'm just trying to improve my english and spelling. Wtf so many words I can't spell properly, damn paiseh. =/

Damn bad insomnia this few days, I keep waking up in the middle of the night drinking milo and eating biscuits. How I wished somebody could hug me to sleep. =/

Woke up damn late today again, around 12.30pm, cause she called me, and the worst thing is I was dreaming of her luh, she was trying to tell me something, and the next thing I hear someone like her voice. LOL. My dream somehow appeared so real, and I couldn't believe at first she called, so I asked in the end, who are you? LOL. And the worst thing is, I forgot what she told me in my dream. Zz..

Went to office, did a first day training. I love doing training nowadays, building up onto better communication skills and PR skills as well. LOL..
Went to orchard after that cause they wanted to make shirts. Ate soup spoon just now and the clam chowder soup is 100 times better than the one in long john silver's I swear. LOL, and it's like such a big bowl luh, e soup can help me to fill my stomach alrd, and till now, I'm still not feeling hungry.

Went to gai gai with her after that, and it's the first time when I walk, I didn't complain I'm tired. Normally girls who know me well enough, I walk less than 10min, I kbkp tired alrd. I just realised it now only. lol. Probably because of a different companion I guess? Haha, feel sooo happy.

Took bus home with daniel and when we alighted, we talked for almost 2 hours before he headed home. I keng gai him alot of stuff and when I talked to him, he suddenly slapped his own face. LOL, I was shocked. And he said I need to wake up my idea. LOL.
After a long talk, he bus home himself and I walked home. =)

Dedication I made,

我知道在这时候，你肯定没有听，可是我想让大家知道，今天的我，还爱着你。
当你塌进我心目中的时候，已经没有别的女人，可以再容纳我的心里了。
********，我爱你。 =）

Happiest walk home.

2009-09-08T00:35:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night was horrible, I slept around 10pm, was damn tired. But I woke up at 3.30am, and I couldn't like sleep back? And I watch some videos, eat some biscuits with milo, and guess what? 8am then I fell back asleep, and I was like absent for today's morning meeting? lol. Body clock damn screwed up. =/

Went to cck to meet up with my agents then headed down to eat with CHNG JIU YUAN, who ps me and went home when I did his training for his guys. =.=

Went for the nutrition talk later on at 7pm to 10pm and it was so damn god boring but enriching. Was busy translating to the Malay comrades that are beside me and I didn't have time to copy down my own notes. Urgh, damn hong kia! LOL!
(hong kia is hokkien for malay. =D)

While I walked home, I made a dedication to her on radio, didn't know if she'd listen to the radio, but when I heard it, I keep smiling. And they read out my hp no, the 4 digits at the back. omg. Hope VE people didn't hear. HAHA

It's the first time I made a dedication for a girl, but I know chances of her hearing is 0%, and she won't know what I said, but yeah, those are the words that are longed in my heart that I wanna say to her. =)

I thought this kind of things, a lot of people will send, so chances of them reading out mine is little, but mine was the 2nd one lah! LOL. And that kept me smiling till now, and all I hope is.. a little appreciation from her. =)

I love you..

drink, drank, drunk.. =/

2009-09-06T21:08:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was indeed a good celebration. Most expensive birthday party I ever went before? haha..

Cost around $4000. LOL, lucky I'm not the one paying. =D

Drank total of 3 bottles of martell, 2 bottles of chivas, 2 jars of beer, and one dua pao which is like 3 litres of alcohol. And there were like 8 people there only. So each individual drank like 1 litre. All of us had serious headache, but non were drunk, that's the funniest part. haha.

We still headed to eat supper before we went home. LOL.

Lots of people woke me up today, from 1.30pm I started receiving lots of sms and phonecalls. -.-

Went for appointment just now at Sembawang, and it was at Jalan Selang, omg. The prospect was rich, stayed in bungalow. It was supposed to start at 4.30pm, in the end, started around 6.15pm, zzz. Waited DAMN long. They were so shuang kuai, didn't even asked the price, but they need more info. zz, otherwise could have sold 4 calstar on e spot. Aiya need follow up, sian. Now I know why life is full of obstacles and nothing comes easy. =/

在生你的爱人，死为你的天使。

time flies

2009-09-05T01:54:00.002+08:00

Looking back at the past years or even months photos, I definitely grew more mature, or u can say older. -.-

I keep having the same old dream since 5 months ago, and everyday when I woke up, it seem so true. I just hope it could be true. Cause if my dream come true, I'll have whatever I want. Yeah.. And not only that, even when I'm on bus or travelling or waiting, this weird feeling always come to me to tell me who I am. Omg. =/

I'm just done with the massive cooking of noodles, nuggets, hotdogs, fish and vegetables. I'm hungry luh.. And she called me a pig. U kuku monkey!! =D

Hadn't been eating much today cause I woke up late and had to rush down to conduct training. Did 4 hours of massive training and that definitely led me to a serious sore throat. Had only my first meal at 6.30pm, had pig organs soup? WOO! and I was damn full but after night meeting till 1am, I became damn hungry but ah liu was tired so we went home and I made some stuff for myself to eat. yeah..

omg i found mango pudding with natadecoco. omg my favourite.. HAHA! thanks mummy I guess? lol..

Tmr's gonna be a big day for us brothers. Cause it's Jason Ong's bdae celebration and he gonna open a bottle of tua pao. $1600. -.-..
They say who nvr gets drunk, cannot go home. LOL, so I guess tmr I'll be dead drunk. =/

Life's short, treasure the ones you love, before they're gone..

11 more days..

2009-09-03T01:35:00.002+08:00

11 more days before I get enlisted, aww.. Will definitely miss waking up in the afternoon. LOL. Lots of things I felt I haven't completed and yet I have to go in soon. Somehow I suddenly feel a shortage of time. Not exactly about work I guess? More onto my personal life..

Went to office to do training today, and finally by the end of this week, I'll have 10 new agents, can start to fight for wadever quota or incentive I want, but fcuk, NS. zz.
No choice, this 2 yrs, cfm have to give the govt. Zz.

Went to boss's house later on at caribbean. Took some photos which I don't think I'll be hardworking enough to upload here. Haha, but definitely, it'll appear on facebook! =D

Went to loyang later on to pray, after that headed to bukit timah for supper. And after we ate finish, Jeremy walked away to talk on the phone. Left me and ah liu at the table we talked about lots of stuff. Like r/s? And I didn't know she got 11 ex boyfriends. Zz, and she cushion herself say every guy must try mah, then u'll know which one suits u best. never try never know. LOL. She tell me daring abit, try all sorts of girls, then I was like.. I alrd have 4 ex gfs? Which alrd makes me feel like a flirt, but all lasted for yrs except for one. Bah who cares? but she say 4 only.. I got 11! LOL.

I told her try out also not like that, maybe can be friends first what, see how its goes, whether can clique and stuff and she said not true. Cause sometimes being in a friendship and relationship is totally different. That's when you'll know whether this guy is suitable for you. Which I felt was quite true as well. Haha, cause only in a relationship, you'll get to experience the fun side of the other person, as well as probably know this person even much more better and stuff. =) ahh, love is so beautiful, only when you know how to enjoy it I guess? =))

Hmm though so many things happen today, I realised one thing. Wadever I do, I couldn't concentrate. Even when I'm at loyang praying. I'm just keep thinking of her, When I open my eyes in the morning it's her, when I reached home, it's her. 24/7 thinking of her. Zz, I'm pretty lovesick I guess. aww.. First time I'm so not focus. And I guess first time in my life too, that I'm willing to do so much as long as it's within my means, just for a girl.

FCUK, I REALLY LOVE HER ALOT. OH MY GOD!! =/

and, i feel sometimes horoscope really represents what's in my mind..

Your intensity is working against you today, JASON, and you may find some challenges in matters of the heart. Whether you are single or attached, you are not going to have ease when it comes to settling differences or coming to agreements. You may even have difficulty expressing your true feelings today, which is very unlike you. You are best to keep things light and breezy during this time frame, or even retreat into solitude for the day. Spending some alone time will give you clarity towards your future romantic visions, and will ensure you come out of this period feeling more connected to the people you truly care about.

我是真的，真的真的很爱你。

painNESS.. soreNESS..

2009-09-02T01:48:00.003+08:00

Almost died when I walked home just now, leg muscles aching damn bad and I even have difficulty walking fast, let alone to climb stairs, and the overhead bridge almost took away my life.. Took like 5 mins, then I reached the other side. zz

Thanks to the midnight session of basketball yesterday night from 11pm to 4am. Well, it was worth it, cause I scored a lot of times, though it's been long since I stepped into the court. HAHAHA.

Woke up like 3pm today? Went prawning after that at East Coast Park. Omg the prawns there are like fcuk? They don't refill and it's like so damn difficult to catch. I'm going to Bishan one next time alrd. 3hrs, I caught like 20+ the other time. And over here, only 9-10? Zz.

The fun part was definitely about the eating part. The prawns is damn fresh, cause just caught one, yah obvious. -.- Photos are with zach, when he upload on facebook, I'll upload them here. =)
The only part I enjoyed most was peeling for her. =D
I was damn hungry but it doesn't matter, cause I haven't eaten a single thing since last night exercising activity. =/ But most imptly is, she don't get hungry ya? =)

爱很痛苦。
我希望被爱，因为被爱很幸福，很快乐。
要全心全力爱一个人，而她不爱你的感觉，非常难过，非常痛苦。

Self reflection. =)

2009-08-31T23:39:00.003+08:00

Well, I started off the day by waking up late, and today's meeting at 12pm, I was the OIC. omfg? LOL. I reached around 2pm, and the most happening thing is, no scolding at all. HAHAHA.

Did training for my people and after that had a short BM grouping about next month's activities before we decided to make a move. And good thing is next mth there's more incentives, and bad thing is I will get to enjoy lesser due to NS. !@!#&*

Hmm, yesterday night was definitely a good one. Well it's end of the month and I definitely did some self-reflection within this month and past few months what I've been doing. I wouldn't share it out but it feels good sometimes to think it through with the shower tap on, running cold water all over you. Gets you more relaxed and calm down to think.

All I can say is I finally understand the nature of life. But I wouldn't let nature to control my life, to take it's own course. I'll change the nature and change the course of my life to let it be better. Mistakes are bound to happen along our journey of life and I always repeat this same mistakes. Probably I put too much feelings into the things I do. I finally got this right yesterday, and I'll always remind myself, to do well and to stay happy.

Thanks to a buddy who enlighten me even further before we really pack up and go. He told me a phrase which I felt was very true. I'll put this phrase at the last part of my blogging today, like to end it with a punchline.

Life is bound to be full of obstacles, if we can't swim, means.. we can't swim. Forcing ourselves over the ocean, will only drown ourseleves. To know and to understand is different. =)

And this is the phrase with the note below.. =))

NOTE:"You should only do things, that one WILL appreciate, and not do things, HOPING one will appreciate.".

love,
Jason.

GOD wants me to know..

2009-08-31T01:25:00.003+08:00

On this day of your life, Lim, we believe God wants you to know...
... that God has an important purpose for you, and made everything possible for you to succeed.

That's not to say it's an easy purpose, or a convenient one. It might very well seem hard or even impossible, but it only looks that way. The truth is that one day you will look back and see how all the pieces fit together. And how your life has been a complete and utter success.

And I hope it's true yea? Had been hanging on all this while, I wouldn't tell myself perhaps this is not the right ricebowl for me, I would always tell myself as long as I try hard enough, I'll definitely achieve it. Well, I hope my believe and faith will bring me to where I am, otherwise..

Been hard on me though, struggling till today. Been doing it since April 11th 2007, Almost 2 and a half years of effort, skills and knowledge gained. But sometimes, I tend to spread myself some negatives, probably hanging on and being stubborn, will never get me anywhere, and I need to move on? LOL.

Well, to be in this industry, I always tell myself and my guys that your mindset cannot only be strong, you have to be doubly strong. Doesn't matter whether you're in this industry or not, we still got to be doubly strong. Otherwise when something hits us hard, we tend to fall and take a long time to pick up.

After my fall on May 9th 2009, this incident left a deep scar in me. Yes, though I can't do anything about it, but memories can't be erased. It's gonna be with me, till the day I pass away. I can choose to hate, I can choose to forgive. And I've definitely picked the 2nd option. Cause hatred that is within us, will always refrain us to stay happy. If you think about it, it's true. Now I understand why people say, it's always better to have another friend, than another enemy.

Well, I don't believe in God, cause I'm not christian. But I wouldn't say God is not good, or God is wrong. I just hope faith can lead me to where I want to be, who I want to be, and what I want to be.. I have the answers. But who's gonna be with me to go through with me?

F**** !@#$%^&

2009-08-30T00:34:00.002+08:00

Ahh, my day started off quite well. First day of training at 1pm. Tmr appt ler. LOL, Don't know why nowadays I pump so fast. First day come for training, 2nd day is appt. LOL. Perhaps this should be the pace for fighting car? haha, I haven't lost it. Yeah!

I wanna try 1st day training, at night appt. haha, even faster, but I ask jiuyuan he say too fast.. Yah quite true, unless I last stage last few days, then perhaps I should do this..

Freaking hate my hair now, alot people keep commenting. Yah la it's damn short, but grow abit longer is damn nice alrd. =/

Freaking unlucky day after some stuff happens, damn dulan.. AHH I'm not gonna post it here, in case he/she comes up to read, I'm prolly dead. LOL.

I ate the fish today I caught at bedok jetty last few days, Omg taste damn great and fresh. Mixed with curry too. And congratz to myself, I gained mass again. 2kg. LOL, but I don't seem to be fat. wtf.. Zz. Prolly gained 2kg of toxins, but I alrd stopped smoking alot. =/

I guess it'll take time. hahaha.. Sian, tmr want to take off myself then got in house appt. Zz, I'm gonna snipe one single tmr, and earn 1k. Who ask that prospect spoil my sunday. -.-

Oh yah. Congratz to Hui Miao hitting Marketing Manager! COOL!
Congratz Daniel for hitting Marketing Manager too.

And for the rest, all I can say is... JIAYOU! LOL

Imma jiayou for my car too. =)

love,
jason.. =)

Boring..

2009-08-29T01:55:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 12pm, because of the stupid thing.. Zz, Went to Keat Hong to buy duck rice for me and James and I went to his house to eat. HAHA, funniest part is when he's pouring the tau huey drink. He didn't pour most of it in the cup, he poured into the basin. -.-

He went to bathe, I closed his room door and used his com. Guess what? After 5 mins, his door opened itself. His house got ghost lah! Happened to Weiyi too. LOL. But I didn't care. =/

Cabbed down to AMK police station cause we were late. Had to freaking report there every now and then but good thing is, this won't continue anymore. CASE CLOSED! OMG!
I'm a free man now, and whatever I do in the future, I'll think twice. haha. =D

After that, stoned at yio chu kang nearby coffee shop, ate chee kuey. drank some stupid grass jelly drink, and headed to yishun mall to walk walk. Then the girl he wanna meet called him. Okay, I accompanied him. We went below her block like 6pm. And 8pm, she's still not down yet. I brother enuff to accompany him liao. After that I bth, went to office to attend my meeting alrd. HAHA. And he continued to wait...
Damn hate girls like this, fucking waste our time.

After meeting, went home.. boring day I guess? spent half the day at yck and yishun doing nothing prospectful. zz. I shall look forward to tmr's activities. =D

2009-08-26T17:24:00.010+08:00

Didn't blog yesterday, because was at bedok jetty the whole night, till 3pm in the afternoon before I headed home. Actually yesterday, was planning to go office, I was already dressed formal and was eating at gold three zero when I asked Jiuyuan and James to join me. We talked and talked. End up they went to meet girls, I went fishing with Ivan.

They were supposed to join us after that but they went drinking. Most were drunk I guess? And they fly us aeroplane. !@#$%&
We 2 person brought 9 rods over, and wtf. LOL, Ivan was damn angry. Haha..

Took some photos... Please click to view them because damn blogger is spoilt! The photos are nice, except for the first 3! =x
NUMBER 5 and 8 HAS ME INSIDE!! =D

Fishing stuff, ZZ. look at how thick the rod bag is? 9 rods inside. =/

Sotong baits, kinda useless. LOL

And and, all the tamban fishes that we normally catch for baits are gone. They kinda went on a holiday I guess? Normally we used to catch around 20-30 plus small fishes for baits, but but, I caught 2 only today. !^%!@#!^!@#$^!@&

And Ivan caught one smaller version of a queen fish. I told him I wanna keep, but he say no meat, so I became damn excited and kicked it back into the sea like a soccer ball. LOL! Damn fun!

(-.-)''!!

Todak!!

My catch for the day! =D

=D

Fishing is fun, but tiring when u decide to ton the whole night there, and it rained for 15mins last night. First time in my whole life I think.. I shivered like hell. Haha, damn cold.. =/

On this day of your life, Jason, we believe God wants you to know...
... that every relationship rests on three legs: accepting, supporting and challenging.

That's really it, isn't it? You want your relationships to be grounded on accepting each other as you are. On supporting each other through the inevitable ups and downs. On challenging each other to become more, to grow, to flourish. Which one of these is the more difficult one for you, and how are you going to practice it in the next 24 hours?

I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I guess this time, it's over..

Well if u're reading this, I have something for you.

.......♥#########♥
....♥#############♥
...♥###I###########♥
..♥###L#O#V#E#######♥............. .♥###♥
..♥#####Y#O#U########♥..........♥#########♥
....♥#################♥......♥#############♥
.......♥################♥..♥###############♥
.........♥################♥################♥
...........♥###############################♥
..............♥############################♥
................♥#########################♥
..................♥######################♥
....................♥###################♥
......................♥#################♥
........................♥##############♥
...........................♥###########♥
.............................♥#########♥
...............................♥#######♥
.................................♥#####♥
...................................♥###♥
.....................................♥#♥
.......................................♥
.......................................♥
.....................................♥
...................................♥
.................................♥
..............................♥
............................♥
.........................♥
......................♥
..................♥
.............♥
.........♥
......♥
....♥
......♥......................♥...♥
..........♥.............♥............♥
..............♥.....♥...................♥
...................♥.....................♥
................♥......♥..............♥
..............♥.............♥....♥
.............♥
...........♥
..........♥
.........♥
.........♥
..........♥
..............♥
...................♥
..........................♥
...............................♥
.................................♥
.................................♥
..............................♥
.........................♥
..................♥
.............♥
.....♥
...♥
.♥.............................♥....♥
♥..........................♥...........♥
.♥......................♥................♥
..♥...................♥..................♥
...♥....................................♥
.....♥................................♥
........♥.........................♥
...........♥...................♥
..............♥..............♥
..................♥.......♥
.....................♥..♥
.......................♥

I guess hearts is something u'll love? And at the top, there are some words inside, if u didn't notice. =)

Take care..

love,
Kayden!

quitted? toyed?

2009-08-24T22:25:00.005+08:00

Been 46 hours, since I last touched cigarettes. Am on the right track of quitting. But I've lost the reason to quit.

Perhaps today is the day blogger gets to know what's inside me again.

Well yesterday night, Mr kit said to me that I'm a sharp sword, but I have not taken it out to use for the past 2 years. Yes you did take it out, but at times, you choose to leave it behind. You're like a jigsaw puzzle, with a few missing pieces. Only when you fill them up, You'll not only be a high flyer, You'll be one of the leaders that everybody will look up to.

I know what's my missing piece, I finally know. But sometimes it just pains me when I have to force myself to accept what I have on hand, is not the piece I can hold on to. I'm feeling so vexed and stressed up because if I still don't move, I will be pronounced dead, not by others, but by myself. It's because I'm fighting a war, without a sword, but with my bare hands.

In life, there are some things that are beyond explanation. I'm not being emo, but I kinda have a clearer mind without those nicotine intakes every 1-2 hours. I don't feel as tired, I'm much more alert, and I finally came to a conclusion that I have to seek out for all my answers, before the day comes. Well, just let me know right in the face. Yes, I'll feel hurt as such, but I'll move on faster.

Fcuk shit, I don't really understand what I'm trying to say.
I guess it's just feelings that are beyond words of explanation.

Well, I've finally opened up the 2nd piece of paper, and I've got the answers for this particular word. It's definitely a good motivation. This word is powerful, this word is marvelous. But it's a chinese character, so.. sorry to the malays if u wanna know. The rest, you can just ask me. =)

Last but not least, I hate to be toyed?? =/

love,
jason <3

Going the extra mile..

2009-08-23T02:57:00.002+08:00

Well, blogger still hasn't recover and it's like almost 1 month already. zzz

Went for appointment today at in house, supposedly to meet customer at 1pm, they were late for almost 1 and a half hours. -.-

Well, uncle was supportive, coming again on monday. Was actually tomorrow but they not free. Walau.. haha.. Taught fufeng some stuff cause I need to go NS real soon. Need to pass down all my skills to her.

Went for BM training, and I forgot to pass something to her. Bus-ed to her home caused I topped up my card early in the day, didn't bother to put back in my wallet cause I was lazy. Wanted to take initative, but I guess, she has exams, her own pressure, and I shouldn't do things the way I want to, although I really want to.

And I left my wallet at office, missed my last bus, and I have to walk back to office. LOL. Exciting, took me 45 minutes. Was sweating like hell, but I just felt happy and satisfied. Cause the journey to her place, was definitely worthwhile.

Note: As long as it's within my means, I'll do anything, EVERYTHING, to make you feel satisfied, and happy. Cause simply.. I love you too much. <3

quitters do win sometimes..

2009-08-20T04:15:00.001+08:00

Yes, though smoking for 4 years, and being a heavy one for the past 3 and a half years, is definitely gonna be hard for me to quit. But yes, I'm determined. And within 3 days later, I'll stop. Goodbye Marlboro! =)

我世上最遥远的距离

2009-08-18T23:24:00.002+08:00

Cool, blogger still dont allow me to change fonts. Okay, I'm sick and tired of complaining.

Went to office today, did stuffs, which i felt was quite meaningful. Sales gonna come in soon within the next few days. But I don't think it's enough to cross my 1st stage, nevertheless, winners never quit, quitters never win. =)

Attached appt for Daniel, was surprised to meet Regional Manager of Amway. Don't know whether she got dua pao a not, but she never whack me. Sounds so friendly, so I just opened my heart, and did a good presentation, but somehow that appt makes me feel like she's a spy. Haha!

Was happy to see her again, always smiling, always cheerful. Loving a person does not require you to be with him/her, you just want her to be happy. But definitely, being able to be together, is definitely a miracle to me. Gives me a chance to shower love, care and concern, and stuff beyond words can express. Love is so powerful, but yet.. so painful.

这世上最遥远的距离, 是我在你身边, 你却不知道我爱你.

taikib0ii

NS's coming, personal life...

2009-08-18T01:33:00.004+08:00

Sad to say, yeah, I'm going into the army soon. september 14th will be the day I should fight for the country? LOL!

Good to say I'm in PES E, which means strictly administrative duties only. Somehow I feel it's good, but somehow no. Cause army it's like a one time life experience only. And kenging until like this, I may not get to experience living in the forest etc etc. I went live firing before with a M16. Held guns before, shot before, load bullets, strip rifles before cause those were done in my previous secondary CCA, which was NCC. But nevertheless, I felt one life time experience that needs 2 years to complete is a hell lot of time. So I'll stick to admin work. But the pay sucks, $450 I guess? One day smoke one pack cigarette plus transport, my pay become negative $-500. zz, I need to have $1300 to spend for my expenses to count my life comfortable, which I'm enjoying it for the past 4 months. But I guess all these is coming to an end. Luckily VE I still got downlines that can generate me income. =DDD

And after I ORD from NS, I guess I'll have to start my career ler. Cause when I come out, Age 22 yrs old already. Haha, I'll see how things goes in VE for the next 2 years, cause I'm 8-5pm, so I can still build my organisation, otherwise, I'll go do business with James and Weiyi, or do my uncle's business. zz

Now at least my income for the future is settled, I'm just worried about my own personal life. Hmm, things like maybe finding the right girl? And family and stuff.
Well, it's time to settle down ler. Maybe about e right girl part, let's say I find a girl, I with her 5-6yrs down the road, more or less can marry ler. LOL, I hate changing girlfriends now and then, and I feel it's ulitmately childish. Like puppy love. Wtf? I swear to myself if I'm really going to get into a r/s, I'll stick to her all the way unless she ditch me I guess? Yeah I may not be the perfect person nor guy, but I'm willing to always make changes to suit the environment, and I'll always change for the better, not for the worst. =)

Family wise, I don't know how to make my mum retire, my dad has, but my mum doesn't want to. And I just don't know why, not as if she has not enough money, but I still think it's because she care for us. My sister, brother and I. I guess when we start working independently, then she'll stop. And I hope this day can come soon, cause though I'm not that close with my family members, afterall, she's still my mum, and yes I love her, and I guess it pains me to see her working so hard.

And for myself, FUCK U NS! COME AT THE WRONG TIME.

This whole bloody year of 2009, I won't say it'll be my worse year, cause I'm always prepared to face the worst. But all things hasn't been going well since February.
Okay, January has been good, Career, income, life etc etc. I felt soo loved in that particular month, I did well in VE, did 10k+ PV, earned a big sum of money, I felt I had everything.

February is the start, during chinese new year, lost a lot of money, didn't dare to tell her cause I'm afraid she'll get angry. March was ridiculous, don't even have money to smoke. Zzz, April we starting quarreling, May she left me, June and July, I emoed like siao.. August I started to pick up, have around 5-6 new agents now, can start fighting for Car, but guess what? Army letter come, September 14th need go report. Wtf, luckily my birthday falls on a sunday this year, so I can still book out, and go enjoy. =/ That's the only good thing I can think of. haa..

I know waiting is never perseverance, it's pure stupidity. But I think love for you, has gone beyond words of expression, and I don't know what to say, but...
I love you, and I really do.. <3

taikib0ii

some rants?

2009-08-15T04:08:00.003+08:00

Okay, first of all, blogging at this timing, I'm really DAMN TIRED. But I've got to rant. I really need to.

I'm feeling damn uncomfortable the whole day along. First of all, I don't even know what I'm doing right now, and to wait or not to. U don't need to understand what I'm trying to say, cause only she'll know. And.. I really need some answers.
I'm falling deeper and deeper and yes, I don't know whether it's the right thing, cause I just don't want to be hurt again, and I hope I don't have to. And I just hope.. she's not playing with my feelings.. =/

2ndly, I don't know who the FUCK passed down e culture of me, keep saying I'm a damn tactical(ji qiao) person? I fucking hate this when people say that to me, and it's not the first time.

So what if I previously worked in another sales company before I came VE? means I'm tactical? means I'm bad? Then why not say other people? There are agents from other companies, worse still from NTI or sunshine empire! They don't start of from VE as well right? So by working in another company before I came here, means I'm tactical? What sort of fucking logic is this?

If I'm really so tactical, will I come up to where I am now? Will I have all the skills leaders taught me that I'm too lazy to pass down?

I don't deny, when you do a business, first of all, definitely, I think of myself and my own income and benefits. And I do think for my agents as well what! WTF I'm tactical? If I'm really so, will fufeng get promoted to ME left with like less than 7k to hit MM? She didn't even have a single personal sales and I DIDN'T FUCK COMPLAIN AT ALL, and I stack sales for her to promote! When she's down based on office stuff, name me a time I neglected her to die. I DIDNT! Even when she needed money, James and I forked out to give her, and we didn't even ask her to return, and it's a few hundred bucks. Haven't I do enough for my organisation? How about James? I stack all my people under him, and he earned almost 3.5k during early this year, didn't I helped them?

Yes I don't deny I did swope sales, and so what if I did? Means it's tactical? Whatever I swoped, I did reward my agents with the total amount of level values and point values they deserve to get, that's why syahidah first month already earn more than 1k. She promoted to ME wad. And how about Hanz? Close one bracelet, I let him hit SE. And because of his bloody customer, I have to wake up so many times at 8am, just to go down to little india to help him out with his customers? Didn't I use my heart and effort to really help?!?!

Everybody in the company swope sales what! Then why must it be always saying I'm the tactical one and not others? Wtf lah. Yes my payout increase by 300% when I swope, but I DIDN'T STEP ON OTHER PEOPLE JUST TO EARN AND PROMOTE! THATS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT! I totally gave them back what the deserve what. Isn't that fair? Networking business, everyone benefits! close one queen, I give them 3000LV, I lose money and I'm called tactical! CB!

Okay, so that's the sales part. How about education? I don't teach down tactical stuff though I know damn a lot right? Check all my downline's knowledge book! Which part is tactical?! TEAR OUT SHOW ME LAH! I EAT UP!

And I fucking hate to be condemned just because my first job is sales line and just coincidentally I'm not in VE, and you are! Yes the education passed down from the previous company is not very good, but what I've learnt, they are all memories and I cannot forget what! And being here for 2 years, never once I applied during sales appt or recruitment! I just don't understand you people. And I don't even know who the hell passed down this culture!

Being in a business, first of all, I feel you need to be smart. In VE, is it only just about closing sales bringing in new people training them? YES! Yes that's what I do as well, but all I did was, in a smarter way, to benefit my agents and myself more, and wtf I'm tactical!

If I can help you guys close a single, with every LV tapped, every PV achieved, but instead of ur training bonus of $200, I can help u change it to $1000, don't you want to learn that too? It's for you guys benefit! And it's the LEGAL way! AND IT'S FULL CASH! NOT PART PAYMENT! Just some swoping in terms of sumbitting sales! zzzz. And can I say your agent benefit more? Won't he/she be more positive? It's a win-win situation then why not?

BM payout is highest in the company, 40%. Yes I'm at this position. But I don't take 40%, I take 60%! Because I do things in a better way. Is this being smart or tactical?

Tactical why not you say others? Last time fight car, all part payment, tell agent you close one product, I sumbit another one for u free. This is then tactical what! Lying to them, but they actually split their sales. Wtf lah, I don't do that okay! THIS IS THEN TACTICAL!

Fancy doing so much, yet being called names. I just don't feel justified!

Okay I'm done! I feel much better now! =D

NOTE:
I've been very careful with my words already, all this are basically basic negatives that people know, so I hope I'm not spreading out stupid stuff. Just stating out the logics and my feelings! And no names mentioned about except for me and my lovely downlines!

<3

2009-08-14T00:28:00.003+08:00

In case you miss me...

HERE I AM!!! =D

Yes I love you, and though I'm not the best guy in the world I guess? But I'm willing to give you my best.. <3

i miss you..

Blogger recovered 80%

2009-08-13T00:35:00.004+08:00

OMFG, BLOGGER RECOVERED!! YAY.
but not 100% coz i still cant change fonts and add colours to it. at least i can upload photos. lol

The other day we went to novena to do some shopping. Cause we were waiting for Weiyi to finish his kenging session in Tan Tock Seng. And guessed what? He finished at 3.30am. OMG. Luckily we headed to esplanade to slack. lol

Went to send stock today, after that met Daniel and Amanda. And in e end, Amanda keep asking us go her house and eat. Okay lor, eat.. Eat liao I faster go off. LOL. And I dragged Daniel along. lol. Cabbed back to office because that bugger forgot to take his laptop, then we headed home, and here I am. HAHAHA!

I really hope I can be loved by you...

Red Dolphin =D

2009-08-11T21:48:00.000+08:00

成功者绝不放弃，放弃者绝不成功。
心不变，人就不会变。
打造用不完的人。
重点不是谁现中，是都有一个机会。
学，做，教。
再学，再做，再教。

The most upmost class of winning is not by humiliating others
or putting them down.
But it is to show them respect and yet beat them hands down.
Afterall, the greatest enemy is still ourseleves.

Note: I love you baby girl.

我爱爱你！

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I'm back. =D

2009-08-08T05:02:00.000+08:00

okay, blogger is not recovering, its okay. just that I cannot upload photos and change fonts, so to me, doesn't matter.

well has been inactive over here for a few days, was damn busy with work and for the past 2 weeks, haven't been coming home early at all, reached home almost 6am everyday, but not all because of office stuff, yeah I did play and enjoy as well. =)

For the month of July, I personally felt like hectic? though it's a fulfilling month. Managed to offered all my help to anyone that needed it, till e extent of having an appointment at 2am, in the middle of hougang. Crazy right? That's how networkers are. LOL
Yes, I'm satisfied with the month of July though. HAHA.

Okay, been meeting Weiyi recently. Caused he's a commando in army and guess what? He keep taking MC till almost 1 month and he just don't want to go back, cause the training is too tough, and I don't deny. He's man enough to go through wadever he has to. And I think having a fast march everyday of 16km, will kill. Fancy jumping off aeroplanes without parachute and the land sometimes has drains and holes? LOL. A lot of people broke their legs, and all the officers did for them, was to kick them out of course because they're injured. So to all readers, Kenging for army is definitely correct. LOL

And for myself, I did nothing much, slacked chilled, and probably just hanging around at James house for the past 1 week, everyday going there. LOL, cause Weiyi's parents didn't know he took MC, so he went James house to camp. HAHA.

Okay change topic, too much things to say. Especially what happened at Jiuyuan's house the previous night. Jiuyuan, James, Weiyi and me. I'm soo trying to sleep, and weiyi's having a fever, James and Jiuyuan were fighting in the middle of the bed. And alot of funny stuff that keep me laughing. What guy's shouldn't go for 5Cs, should go for 5Bs, and Jiuyuan say: WHAT? I have almost all, Balls, Backside etc etc. LOL.

What's on my mind:

Yeah probably is me being one sided, but I seldom care so much for a person before, and the worse thing is when she's sick, I couldn't do much, not because I don't want to, but I couldn't go till that extent. I'll wait.. that's all I can say.

When I found the missing puzzle in my life, I was disappointed that it couldn't fit into the picture.

<3

2009-08-03T17:07:00.000+08:00

I'm at home now stoning, missing her, loving her, thinking of her, dying to see her. lovesick i guess? =/

and.. dying to love her..

2009-07-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

wtf happen to blogger again? ccb. cannot change font, cannot put photo, cannot do anything but juz type words. cheebye!

How I Wished...

2009-07-30T01:16:00.001+08:00

How I wished, I had a girl like this...

All About Scorpio

2009-07-29T23:18:00.001+08:00

Scorpio Characteristics and Profile
The Scorpion is one intense little creature, with enough poison in its own tail to disable or kill a much larger opponent. But the problem with this kind of built-in biological weaponry is that it must be mastered in order to be used most effectively. You Scorpios can use your "stinger" for self-defense, using your powerful emotional awareness to render your opponent harmless. But there is a sexual component of poisonous tail also, and until Scorpio learns to control those strong urges, Scorpio may find yourself in uncomfortable situations.

Element: Water
The water of Scorpio is fixed and frozen, but it is a mistake to think that ice doesn´t flow. It does flow -- and with great power. Think of a glacier, moving so very slowly, yet with enough power to flatten a forest or even a mountain.

Eighth House: Transformation
This can include sexual issues, for they usually involve another person.

Key Planet: Pluto
As the key planet for Scorpio, Pluto is intense and powerful, representing those things that we don´t or can´t understand. And it is from these hidden Plutonic spaces that magical transformations arise.

Scorpio Greatest Strength:
Your passion about your feelings

Scorpio Possible Weakness:
Need for secrecy can be isolating

love or not to love..

2009-07-27T03:11:00.002+08:00

Okay, had a bad day, woke up at 1130am, and I'm late for Daniel's appointment, so I took a cab there. And guess what, he's late and I waited 1 hour for him. !@#$%&

The appointment took like 4hours? and i sold 2 calstars. HAHAHA! wtf, and liu say so little, scold me. OMG! Prolly her expectation is high? I don't know. Headed down to don't know what hotel for dinner, and the food is damn good. After dinner, pang seh-ed my family and I went to Boon Lay to find Jiuyuan and James. Talked till around 2.30am before we cabbed home. Cool!

I just realised my heart has been stolen again, and this kind of love, I'll name it forbidden love.

I don't know how to express my feelings, or prolly is just me, being one-sided. I don't know if I should, or shouldn't. And I'm definitely truly afraid of being hurt-ed again. But I know this time it would be different.
But...

I need some answers..

little thoughts..

2009-07-23T23:35:00.011+08:00

AH MA AND SIS!!! =D

THIS IS MY LAZY BROTHER AND SIS!
AH MA SIS AND BRO!

RICH TAI TAI (MUM) AND SIS!

-.-!!

RICH TAI TAI AND SIS!
RICH TAI TAI!

Okay, so there's no ME in any of the pictures cause actually I was supposed to go, but because of some reasons, I didn't go and at the end, when I decided to go, my mum say no tickets. !%^%^#$%@&$@*^$@*$

They went to 3 places in London, and wtf, the next trip to USA and China, I'm definitely going!! HAHAHA!!

Okay, went to Jiuyuan's house yesterday night, and while I was asleep, I couldn't sleep, so I pretended to sleep and I overheard the conversation between Jeremy and Jiuyuan.

Conversation was about girls. LOL

Jiuyuan: Walan eh, sometimes I think uh, be good guy, no use. Rather be bad instead.
Jeremy: Why leh? HAHAHA
Jiuyuan: You see lah, I don't smoke, don't drink, and then want find a girlfriend to like stable down and have a commitment, (meaning he wants to settle down alrd, and find a girl who's ready for a commitment.) also so difficult. Want girls, also no girls. You see James, knn, so flirt so many girls, I don't want be good guy liao. LOL
Jeremy: Aiya, nowadays girls realistic lah, u think like kampong days uh? you have nothing, the girl also willing to stick with you, because of love, now you have nothing, the girl say BYEBYE!

LOL

Jeremy: Now girls like that one lah, what to do? fight lor.
Jiuyuan: Ya lor, I very impaitent already, I want faster settle down VE, cause I 21 soon, I want get married at 21 one leh! zz -.-
Jeremy: SAI, you nothing, no 5Cs, where got girl want you? LOL
Jiuyuan: I HAVE LEH! I got cock, I got card also lor, EZ LINK Card. CAR CING(backside) counted? LOL, yah lah, I no condo, HDB, cannot meh? same mah, got house can ler. I got car, but no license. Almost all 5Cs have what. Cash I have wad, see my wallet, got few dollars. ALSO CASH WAD!!! LOL
Jeremy: (laugh and laugh.)

I bth lah, I want sleep, also feel like laughing, the way they say, plus got actions somemore. LOL

And yes, a little bit about myself, I'm finally back on track(I think), Gave up everything on febuary 2009 for her, and I felt that she was the most important thing in my whole life, and right now after 6 months, I'm finally back on my feet, doing what I'm supposed to do again. Though the heart still ponders, but I think.. Yes Jason, time to move on. The luxury of time is something Jason Lim does not have. =/

And yes, I'll end this post, with this song..
I think this song, has represented whatever I've done, and felt for the past 3 months. Drinking, and hoping for some miracles..

sick with luxurious food..

2009-07-21T01:36:00.002+08:00

Okay, my cough's getting worse. I cough every 10 seconds, unless I have to control. Wtf?

Though I'm sick, but I'm still having the kind of great food because my sis is back from London, and she's going to China for 1 week after that, then to USA again to further her studies. Omg. I can never study that much, I'll go crazy! =/

Ate lots of good food especially yesterday night. There was black pepper crab, chilli crab, and alot alot more which I forgotten what I ate. Zz.. All I know is that I'm thinking of the future, when I have my wife and kids, it would be the same senorial, I buy food for them, seeing my wife and children eating happily. HAHAHA!!

Today's dinner wasn't that bad either, ate 4 bowls of rice, plus salted vege + duck soup. woo, and meat and prawns, big fish and more. LOL. I'm going to eat dinner at home for the next few days. =DDD

And and shit, this saturday I have my Grandfather's brother's birthday. And I'm suppose to bring a girl along with me, somehow like girlfriend, which is what they want me to do. Omg, I need an actress at this point of my life. Zz..

I'll upload e london photos soon when my sis pass to me. =D

sick

2009-07-19T23:57:00.000+08:00

I'll blog tmr all e photos taken at london. omg too sick to do it today, damn.. please care for me, if u really do, even if it's just a message, and i'll know what to do.

If I Let You Go..

2009-07-19T02:46:00.000+08:00

Expresses my feelings well now. =)

outing with sec sch friends.

2009-07-18T17:20:00.002+08:00

Gosh, been 2 days I've been seeing the same faces, over and over again. Hahaha! They booked out from NS, and all of us, were all suffering from high fever because Myron spread to me and James, and James spread to all of them. LOL, they took MC for a week and hence, we're able to go out. LOL.

Watched Harry Potter yesterday, was kinda boring but I still understood the storyline. Almost fell asleep. Haha! After that, we headed to west side to drink, and after drinking, we headed to Orchard to drink again. Omg, my liver's gonna spoil soon. =/

We went to a karaoke in Orchard and guess what? The room that we booked, was even bigger than my house, minus of the kitchen. LOL. can u imagine? and it's like 8 of us only, and when I started to talk, my friend said please shout leh, I cannot hear you, though we're in the same room with no music on yet at that moment. There's then a girl who wanted my number, and I gave her my dad's number. LOL LOL!! can't be bothered with this kind of girls. Drank alot of funny stuff, I don't even know the name of the alcohol. Haha! Damn funny. Spent around $1,800 yesterday again. LOL.

And definitely, I met up my good friend Weiyi yesterday again. Missed him so much, he's the one being there for me during secondary school days. And I loved them alot. =D

P.S: Thanks for your companion. You guys really make me hangover. LOL. Take care.. =)

My Beloved Uplines. =D (2nd post)

2009-07-16T00:32:00.002+08:00

Thanks for the countless support and understanding-ness you guys provided me with, the skills and knowledge you passed down to me. Young is an asset, and we'll do well and succeed together.

CHEERS!!

Seminar and Chalet

2009-07-15T22:09:00.009+08:00

Went to Company's quarterly seminar on monday. It's held at Conrad Hotel. Had a great time, took lots of photos. Haha, after that we headed to chalet immediately. LOL, was fun these past 3 days. Just got home and I'm super dead tired and I don't want to mention the details. In conclusion, everything was super fun. Hahaha!!

Taken at orchard Mrt, that's when my fever began with Mr Chng! LOL. jiuyuan luh..

Cabbed home with Jiuyuan e other night, I want to go on Spore flyer alot. =(

Jiuyuan

MengWee

Azura

Huimiao

VE's talent, he played damn nice, I forgot his name. =/

Chief Operation Officer, Mr Martin Lew

This happened in the 2nd night of the chalet, midnight 12am at Ehub. lol.

P.S: Thanks for everyone's companion, especially you. =D
Thanks to Mr Kit, sat down with him at the chalet with lanjiao, Ivan and myself. He told me 3 words, just 3. And I understand things a whole lot more and better now. Thanks! =D
I won't mention the 3 words here, if you wanna know, ask me!

good night..

myself..

2009-07-13T00:56:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I just really wish I could be myself, to express my feelings, to let people know how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking.

Because the Jason now, is only showing to people he's happy about everything, but the fact is, he just don't want the people around him to feel negative, or sad or anything.

So many stuffs going on my mind.. and I just wished I could be myself, And that somebody will understand me, more than just a friend to me..

spinning..

2009-07-12T02:27:00.002+08:00

Okay, I'll summarise everything. I'm having a god damn high fever and I feel so sick. =/

Woke up around 1.30pm, went to 302 to meet Jiuyuan, Eric and James. After that, James went out with his other friends, we headed to Jy's house to slack, and then headed to down to repair his phone. Okay after that, he wanted to shop for formal clothes but doesn't have something that suit his taste, headed to food court to eat, and there's no space. Worse thing is, Eric only can eat porridge cause he just pierced his tongue. So we headed to HongKong Cafe to eat.

After that, when I started to light up, I feel like I'm swallowing sand. Throat damn pain, okay and I know this is a syndrome of falling sick. Eric went to look for his friends, was around 8pm already, Jy and I headed to his future girlfriend house, we watched 2 movies. I feel like a light bulb. Zzz.

After the first movie, my throat was even more painful. Started to have a headache and when I touch my forehead, okay steady it's damn hot. I didn't dare to say because H1N1 now quite serious. When we went off her place, I told Jy, he say YES! Please spread to me so we can quarantine. LOL.

Cabbed home after that..

Okay so now everybody is overseas only left me and my dad, I can't move a single inch now so tomorrow, I'll have no food, and die on my bed.. Zz.. Dad is sick, he can't walk far too. Okay I'm dead. Thank god for this arrangement..

39.0c.. wtf? I'm burning and feeling so damn cold.. =/

troubled feelings..

2009-07-09T18:34:00.008+08:00

Hmm yes my feelings and EVERYTHING. I don't know how to start actually, too many things going on, on my mind. Maybe let's start off with my career and work.

VE VE VE!! This career path here is giving me too much stress. Alright maybe the leaders will say I'm weak, but you guys just don't understand what I'm going through right now, plus all the politics, I don't even feel a sense of belonging in the team, it's like.. she wants me out. Maybe she's not putting her words into proper use, or maybe she doesn't mean this, but how about my downlines? She basically is spoiling my own rice bowl. Whatever I do and put SO MUCH effort in, she screwed it up in just seconds and minutes. The team doesn't have enough people now, and talking about Business Managers, I'm the only one left standing. I wouldn't say I'm the most important part of the team, or the teams needs me badly. But if there's another person around to help out, won't it be better? Then why give me the FUCK attitude every time when I go down? In the month of January, My turnover helped you qualified for a room in the company, haven't I contributed enough in terms of my position? Yes, in VE, payout is high, I love it a lot. But I don't need cash anymore, I have all the cash I need after Oct 25th. I can claim back my insurance policy that my parents bought for me 20yrs ago. It's basically more than enough for me to survive till I die. And I know in the world, there are definitely a lot of things to do. Doesn't mean VE will be everything in my life.

That's the reason why I'm hanging around doing odd-jobs, and slacking my life away for the time-being. There's basically so many things for me to do, I can help out in my sister's business in the future after my NS, I can do business with my uncle which is left over from my dad to earn a 5 figure income every month. And yes, I'm starting to find alternative solutions. I'll keep VE as my priority till I get something to do. Meanwhile, I'm as free as a slacker. Fancy blogging at this timing. Zz..

2ndly, Maybe about my personal life, which I can say, My love life in fact that's basically hurting me a lot. Because, these are the only two things in my mind for now. Actually, I really don't know what to say. I know you will know how I feel.

Okay, It's been more than 60 days infact, and as a guy, yes, it's my fault cause I didn't take any initiative to like make things better, or win her heart back. In fact, I only make things worse, and I guess it's because I lost my mind at the point of time and I became a bastard. Now that I'm more conscious, I would like to express whatever I've been feeling for the past 2 months. And yes, everyday, every minute, or I should say every second, I'm just thinking of her. I don't know why things just couldn't get better or why I can't accept other girls or maybe I'm born to be like this. Whenever my friends make fun of me, calling me tiong xim kia (faithful guy), I feel even more sad. Because that makes me think of her even much more.

And yes, it's her blog I read everyday only, and there are some points of time when she expresses her feelings there, and she's trying very hard to cope with life, she's very stressed over her studies, and I can do nothing to help. But definitely, I trust her 100% that she'll remain single. I don't know how to touch her heart, I don't know what's in her mind, I'm not any fortune teller or a mind reader. I'm just afraid by making the next step, I'll make things worse again.

Yes, guys are definitely the ones that must take initiative to woo back girls what, I know all girls will expect that. But for the past 2 months, I've did nothing of those, but instead camping at home, waiting for her to be online, to read her blog. I'm really useless. I've did stuff for her in the past few weeks, if she did notice. Well, I wouldn't hide anything anymore, I just want to say everything out. I bought a big vanguard sheet and wrote: Sorry Baby, I love you. and I stood below her window the whole night, holding it high, just hoping maybe she'll pop out and take a look. And wtf, 4 times that I went there, one of the night, it rained damn heavily. Zz. I wrote lots of letters that I wanted to drop into her letterbox, but I'm so afraid that might piss her off again. Everytime that I went there, I just couldn't pick up the courage to drop it in, and I don't know why.

Okay, there are basically 3 things I can do.
1) See things happen.
2) Wait for things to happen.
3) Make things happen.

I want to be the No.3, but I just don't know how. She's busy with her friends and school. I can't date her out, and if i appear below her block, I guess she'll be pissed. I just don't know what to do. I love her so much. And this song below, will definitely 100% represent better what I want to say, and how I'm feeling.

I know she doesn't love me anymore, But I still love her a lot.

Okay, I don't have the lyrics. So damnit. Hope you guys can catch what's Sam Lee is singing.

I think she'll know all this while, I'm definitely a kind of guy that do not know how to sweet talk and I'm not really fantastic with words. But I hope she knows how exactly I'm feeling, missing her, loving her every moment of my life.. I love you baby, I really do. I have quitted vulglarites, I will stop controlling your life, I will stop doing little funny things that will piss you off.

I guess whatever I say, will not make a difference anymore.. Cause we can't brood over spilled milk. But all I can say is, I love her, till now, I love her more than myself, and anyone else, with all my heart.

在大海之中，在广阔的天空，
我找到了你，我爱上了你，
我不知不觉，把全心给你。
你爱上了我，你把全心给我，
你跟了我在一起。
我们很快乐，我们很高心，
我们两人觉得自己最辛福。

三个月后，东西变了，
我们吵架，我们相骂。
你说你不爱我，你要放气，
把一切都忘了，把一切都抛弃。

我好伤心，我好痛苦。
世界变的很黑暗，很孤单。
我好想你，我好爱你。
我忘不了你。
孤单的我，现在，直能摸摸地等着，
等着你的回来。

Another funny day.

2009-07-09T04:34:00.008+08:00

Went down to VE around 3pm, and yes, lots of things changed. Be it packages, or what so ever. Yes, money is damn good to earn right now, because we're moving up another platform. But I don't need so much cash, so I'll just stay low. I don't even feel like going back for the time being, too much politics. I guess when everything is over, then I'll go back again. =)

Went to bukit timah after that to eat with James, then we cabbed to my house, and after that I changed, and we cabbed to town to drink again. HAHA! Been drinking at least 4-5 times a week. Idk, but I just need to drink down my sorrows. Finished a whole bloody jug of beer and I don't feel anything. I guess the only point of time I can get drunk is when I drink lots of martell and tequila shots.

They closed around 3am, so no choice, we had to make a move. That bloody Jeremy of mine, who is a outside friend, (not from ve), was damn drunk. He keep saying he want to urine and kbkp all the way. James was angry so he pushed him into the drain. LOL, damn funny lah, James and I keep laughing when he tries to climb out, cause the drain is damn big, and deep. LOL. Waited for him to climb out then headed to eat prawn noodle after that and we cabbed home.

He's angry, walked alone after he climbed out of the drain. LOL

Note: I want to quit smoking and drinking.
2ndly: And yes if u're reading this, please stop it, stop asking me out anymore, cause I won't go. Yes i can't give u a chance, cause you're not the one I love. You jolly well know who I love, and what I want, so just go get another guy. I'm not available. I'm sorry.

I'll upload another post in a few hours time, about my personal life, my feelings and EVERYTHING.

Arab street (3rd post)

2009-07-08T00:17:00.004+08:00

Went out with James just now, with some of his dota friends. Haha, Jiuyuan didn't came cause he didn't sleep the whole day yesterday. Awww. Went sheesha at Arab Street. Had lots of fun. =)

Didn't know for sheesha, there is a kind of flavour called apple strawberry mint. LOL, it's damn nice. Hahaha! we played old maid there and tai ti.. =)

Pictures taken 2 days ago are below.

Taken at SengKang. =)

James playing RAMBO. LOL. =D

Note: Finally can upload photos.
I don't know whether I'm still on her mind, but I'm missing her, every moment of my life.

I love u still, I'll wait for you..

finally i can upload. =) (2nd post)

2009-07-08T00:12:00.004+08:00

Some of the pictures taken in the past few days. =)

outing

2009-07-07T16:07:00.002+08:00

Woke up at 7am yesterday, because I had to go to NUH for my medical checkup. And congratz to me, I have heart problem. My test turn out to be negative. LOL. Yay, I'm really a problematic guy. Hahaha!

Went home after that, to bathe and change, then went to James house cause I got nothing to do. And after a few mins, we were bored, so we decided to go out and spend some money. Hahaha! Cabbed to West Mall, cause he needs to get a replacement for his sim card, after that, went to bought tickets for transformers. Finally I watched the show. Lol. Not bad, but can be better. After that, we went to play arcade. We played almost every machine in the arcade. LOL!

Headed to meet Ee Chen after that, chatted at the kopitiam, then we cabbed down to CCK to meet Jiuyuan and Jeremy. Already 11pm by then, we ate again, then went to Jiuyuan's house to play sabouter till 5am, then I cabbed home. =)

2009-07-07T05:31:00.005+08:00

Dark side of life

2009-07-05T19:58:00.002+08:00

Went to SengKang yesterday to work, finished around 3plus. James and I were on the way to Jurong when suddenly he saw the friend of his, who owed him money, we immediately got off the cab. That bastard has been running for 1year and finally we saw him, he owed a total of $3,800.

We confronted him on the spot, he refused to pay up, he pushed James and that's when I stood in and gave him a big punch on his head, I hammered him profusely until when he tried to run, he fell. And while he's on the ground, I kicked his face like a soccer ball. LOL, I don't know where James hit him, but I just know that guy deserves it. He suffered many injuries and that's when the police came, and in conclusion, we 3 were caught and were handcuffed back to AMK police headquarters.

At first I thought it's only awhile, and guess what? When we reached there, we were altogether locked up in a room, after that after searching us, we were put into a cell. Wtf? like jail. And it's worse than jail. There's nothing inside, just four walls, small little ants, and a toilet which has no toiletbowl.

We've been locked up for around 19hours, stoning inside. Worse is, we were all placed in seperate cells. Until it's time for us to give our statements, we were put together. After that, they require us to get bailed out. James dad came, that bastard got his uncle, and I've got nobody, till 2-3pm, I was still stuck in there, and worse thing is, they only give me a few numbers to call, and no one helped. I don't know why I phoned her up, prolly I thought she will care and at least help me, to my disappointment, she just hanged up the phone. I was damn sad, and luckily, James came back with another friend to bail me out.

Now I finally see, who are my true friends, and who are not.

We were once even sweeter than lovers, now she treats me, worse than an enemy..

Vexed (2nd post)

2009-07-03T02:05:00.006+08:00

Okay, the first thing I wanna say is, FUCK the cab driver that sent me and James home. After James alighted, he dropped his phone on the cab, and the uncle off it. FUCKING dishonest. ccb. Sometimes I feel i got 6th sense, everytime I said we like forgot to take something, really happens. It's not the first time but ya, countless times already, and I'll just feel uneasy for the whole day. Stoned at home, the whole day. I don't feel like blogging out my feelings anymore so I'll skip this part. Went out with Myron(moron), Eric and James. Went drinking again and it's damn irritating when I can't get drunk. =/ I took some photos too. lol

I just don't know why I'm so faithful, especially when she's like this.

tired like hell

2009-07-02T16:18:00.006+08:00

Didn't blog yesterday cause when I got home, I was already tired like hell. I went out with my friends and took lots of photos, but I accidentally deleted them just now and I'm only left with 2, and those are of myself. Damn!

At night, went to meet Jiuyuan, Jeremy, James and Nick. We played dwarf and saboteur again and it's so fun. Haha, we played at a playground till around 2.30am, then when we went off. But on the way down to the coffeeshop, Jeremy took a coconut and throw James leg lah! HAHA! We all laughed and James was in so damn pain. LOL, after he recovered like 1min later, he picked up the coconut and chased Jeremy, and they ran damn far. LOL! Until when they were at the main road, they decided to stop. LOL.

Headed to 274 for a drink, and after that, they cabbed home, I walked home cause it's a 5mins walk away only. =)

Flyer day

2009-06-30T23:54:00.008+08:00

Haven't got a wink since yesterday, cause I haven sleep till now. Zz, omg I'm damn tired.

As promised as I am free these few days, accompanied one of my friend to give out flyers for his auntie. HAHA, we met at 8am, and before they even started, they got fined $150 for spitting and throwing cigarette butt on the floor. Actual fine was $450, but NEA officer gave them a discount. LOL.

I was posted to block 300+ to distribute. I thought we were doing it together so I didn't mind. End up, I have to give myself alone. And I was so tired. It was like impossible to finish 2000 flyers in a single day, so I started to call and ask my friend Wind, who was at the other side of the district.

Jason: eh bro, sai kang leh.
Wind: what u doing now?
Jason: plucking the damn pieces of papers into the letterboxes lah.
Wind: walau, why you so stupid? Stop doing that. Take a smoke break.
Jason: errr?
Wind: It's not about working hard, it's working smart.
Jason: but I like got only 2 hands.
Wind: throw away lah, who ask you put inside.
Jason: CAN MEH?
Wind: I've been doing that since I helped her.
Jason: HAHAHA!
Wind: the more aunty gives, the more you throw. Understand?
Jason: LOL! OKAY OKAY!! =D

and I began to keep throwing them away. the more aunty gives, the more i throw! LOL!
and guess what? I completed 16,000 flyers. LOL, was paid for nothing. HAHA!

at about 5pm, the conversation continues..

Jason: we like wasted alot of aunty's flyers.
Wind: It's okay, she's doing charity.
Jason: LOL. I think more like hiring useless people.
Wind: Work smart. =)

The number of flyers we plucked, was like less than 200. The rest all went into the bin. =x

Beautiful scenery but e old man inside spoil e picture. =/

Shagged face, dying for sleep. AHH! =x

I slept for two hours. LOL

I got this big paper cut, damn painful. Cause sometimes aunty does spot check, so we have to act-act abit. LOL, and this is what happens when i work hard. Plus my finger got stuck in the letterbox quite a number of times which worsen it.

The flyers initally in my bag, I felt it was too heavy, soooo...

TAHH DAHH! LOL! =D

Into the dustin. HAHA.

I dropped some on the floor while trying to throw them. =/

Thanks lil bin, I love you. =p

Thanks for the companion and fun you guys gave me. And thanks James for coming down, just to deliver me a peach tea. LOL!

There's always me here, to hug you, to comfort you. I had never once left your side..

pissed

2009-06-30T06:23:00.006+08:00

Well, I woke up by Daniel who gave me 17 missed calls, and Liyun, 2 miss calls. Apologies caused I saw your calls, just didn't want to wake up. And thank god, the training was cancelled. So hmm, was suggesting to go down in fact, but in the end, the message she sent me pissed me off like hell and I didn't want to go down anymore.

Headed to James house after that, initial plans was to play pool, but Jiuyuan was damn sick, so we go out with him instead. He's down with damn serious fever and flu, and guess what, I sat right beside him on his bed for 2 hours. LOL, but before that, we went to eat at 302.

After that, James was hungry again, so we went to 302 AGAIN -.-, to eat supper. We had a long talk, and the more we talk, the more pissed we get. And guess what, 3am, we dragged Jeremy out of the house, and we talked to him what problems we're facing.

I just don't know why you're like this, in fact, if you want me to disappear, you can just say, don't have to show me stupid signs. It's been so long that I knew you. Yes, you did care for me, but till what extent? I really hate your attitude now.
I just don't feel the sense of belonging there anymore. You've totally changed into another person. Maybe you're having period, idk, that's why you're like this, but this isn't the way you should behave right? Idk, I just can't stand it, or probably I'm too sensitive.

This is the first time in my whole entire life, I feel so aimless, so directionless, so goaless.
And I feel it's because the way you treat me, makes me unable to perform. zzz!!!

NOTE: Yes, I saw her blog, and if you're going to piss her further, you're definitely pissing me as well. I hope u see this, cause if you're giving her trouble, I'll make sure you suffer double. If you want to challenge me and see me angry, come and get me.
Just don't make me go down, and make things ugly for you, cause I mean what I say, and I say what I mean.

I wished you've been here for me, cause right now, I'm going through another lowest point in my life.

nul saranghe sewuli jinado

2009-06-29T00:01:00.004+08:00

THIS IS FOR YOU

when I lay and think in my bed at night,
the day you'll arrive, seems nowhere in sight.
I toss and turn, dreaming of you,
opening my eye's... checking if my dream came true.
It didn't, again, a tear starts to roll ,
weeping quietly.. my pillow I hold.

Many sleepless night I pray for you, my love.
God touched my soul, from heaven above.
He's answered my prayers for my bride to be,
I've never felt this lucky, God did this to me.
That's a question I asked each and every night.

He must think your special, joy, and I know he's right.
No other has made me feel so complete,
my whole life was lived, just so we could meet.
All these thoughts and more going through my head,
I fall asleep not worrying, but dreaming of you... instead.

I miss you so much day and night,
I can't realise why you're gone,
now I'm standing here, all alone.
With this weight upon my heart,
remembering our feelings from the start.

I'm always happy when you're around.
It doesn't matter what we do,
so long, I'm always with YOU.

I know I won't pull through, without you by my side,
so baby come to me, don't run and hide.
The only thing I want, is to be with you,
please honey, make my wish come true.

Sometimes holding on can be quite beautiful, especially it's how you want it to.

shoulders for you..

2009-06-28T02:45:00.003+08:00

Did nth much today, hahaha. woke up around 2pm, exercised and trained myself, after that was at facebook all the way till 7pm.

After that, I went to meet Eric, Danny, Julian, JianHui, JinTian, HuiFang, Zhiliang, Wind and more. We went to Bonkers to drink again, till now that I'm home. surprised that I could still blog after drinking 7 tequila shots. It's damn hot and shiok when it goes down your throat, but please don't try, cause u'll get drunk easily. haha!

Thanks for your companion guys, though I didn't even sat with you guys on the same table and talked to you guys. LOL, quite funny right? I was playing cards with another group of people and I abandoned my friends. AWWW, XUETING'S fault! Made me gamble and I can't go away.

Promise to accompany you guys the next time round, and it'll be my treat. =)

Cry on my shoulders, cause they're only for you..

A lil chat with my friend. (2nd post)

2009-06-26T21:53:00.002+08:00

јаѕои°• said:
ok
[coe4].' ‡£rlc‡™ ♂ -[n.OneEighT] said:
den u wan join us sing k?
јаѕои°• said:
err not really
[coe4].' ‡£rlc‡™ ♂ -[n.OneEighT] said:
kk
јаѕои°• said:
got some stuff to settle in afternoon time
[coe4].' ‡£rlc‡™ ♂ -[n.OneEighT] said:
go pian mei mei right
јаѕои°• said:
nah
i still love her.
[coe4].' ‡£rlc‡™ ♂ -[n.OneEighT] said:
LOL
okok
*
[coe4].' ‡£rlc‡™ ♂ -[n.OneEighT] says:
*DEVOTED sio pple
јаѕои°• says:
*lol
[coe4].' ‡£rlc‡™ ♂ -[n.OneEighT] says:
*女人如衣服
јаѕои°• says:
*haha
*nan ren ru shou zu ?
[coe4].' ‡£rlc‡™ ♂ -[n.OneEighT] says:
*ya
јаѕои°• says:
*a pity i can't do that. =/
[coe4].' ‡£rlc‡™ ♂ -[n.OneEighT] says:
*LOL
*lousy la u
јаѕои°• says:
*probably? idk too. =/
[coe4].' ‡£rlc‡™ ♂ -[n.OneEighT] says:
*nb u act yi ge emo
*lool
јаѕои°• says:
*...
*cause u don't lnow what is love.
*=)
[coe4].' ‡£rlc‡™ ♂ -[n.OneEighT] says:
*ya la i noob la
*lool
јаѕои°• says:
*okok
*seeya tmr..
[coe4].' ‡£rlc‡™ ♂ -[n.OneEighT] says:
*kk

HAHA, he's damn funny.

faithfulness

2009-06-26T21:02:00.002+08:00

hahaha, i just woke up..

Yesterday was a good day perhaps? The four J's came together. Jason, James, Jeremy, Jiuyuan.
LOL.

We ate at yong tau fu and had a long and good talk together. Been long since we had these kind of sessions, cause all of us are busy with our own activities. We talked about girls. LOL. Glad after 3 years, Jiuyuan finally can move on and now, he's on e verge of wooing someone, finally he found his sweetheart. Jeremy hasn't been on good terms with his girlfriend, had been quarrelling for a long time, but both of them didn't want to give up, cause they know they love each other, despite the quarrellings and arguments they had. James hasn't been on good terms with vivi as well. They have no time to meet each other. They had nothing to talk about me. LOL, all they said and I remembered was two words in dilect, "tiong xim". hahaha!

Thanks guys for trying to introduce new girls to me, but I think, I'll give it a pass. =)

We headed for a short group up after that, and we played the number game. I don't know how to explain it here, but well, I know James did the most forfeit and his legs are all aching now. HAHA! I was fast in every round so I wasn't forfeited at all in the whole grouping. lol! =D

We then headed to take 67 home. And we decided not to sleep for the whole night. We went to Jiuyuan's house to play cards. This game is damn fun. It's called Dwarf and Sabotuers. Cause Jiuyuan has appointment at 10am at paya lebar, so he said he couldn't wake up if he sleeps, so we played the whole night. And guess what, his appointment was postponed in the morning. LOL, we were all laughing. Around 11am, Jeremy James and me, were all lying dead on this bed, only Jiuyuan himself playing his favourite Blackshot. LOL, he's really a gamer. Haha!

He's damn evil, woke us up at 1pm, but throwing pillows at us, cause at 2pm, he has appointment at Ang Mo Kio, and thank god, this wasn't cancelled. lol. Took LRT home after that cause there's no bloody cab. Damn!

From all these long talk sessions yesterday, I learnt one thing. Sometimes in relationship, couples quarrel because each individual is too sensitive. And, each individual likes to provoke the other party at sometimes. Can't blame, human nature. But I believe in their heart, it's because they love, and care for the other party, thus the situation. All humans wanted, was just a little more love, care and concern. =)

-Thanks for the 3 of you, accompanying me, encouraging me to move on though it's been 49days.
-I'm no longer interested in other girls, so thanks anyway for your recommendations.
-I love you guys. =)

I want to love you, not only now, but for the rest of my life.
Every heartbeat in me, tells me how much I think of you, how much I'm missing you.
I want to stay faithful to you.

family

2009-06-25T01:18:00.002+08:00

I forgot to set my alarm so I woke up at 4pm. LOL, and it's raining when I woke up, so cold. I love it. hahaha.

And my day didn't went well perhaps? So much problems going on my mind. I am so stressed.

First of all, thank god we had a massive family quarrel just now. Okay, so now, my house and family is in a mess, my dad doesn't want to come home, and he's sick. My mum is like a mad dog shouting and screaming, my bro is like... I don't know what to say. And I'm hiding in my room, because I can't be bothered. Since young, I never had family love. Sucks man.

And because of that, I haven't eat the whole day, I'm damn hungry, but I have no appetite I guess. Family is drifting, friends are drifting, who on Earth can I talk to, to be my listening ear? Nobody I guess, that's why I always talk to myself.

So lonely till e extent, I think this weekend, I'm watching transformers MYSELF. =/

Is there anybody around, that is really caring for me?

tired and hetic

2009-06-23T23:04:00.002+08:00

woke up at 10am, been long since I started doing that. Haha, I have no choice, cause we agreed to go to the gym together. But jiuyuan did come after that. Zzz. Nick and I had a super cool work-out today. HAHA. We went to buy duck rice after gym sessions, and we walked to his house.

So while he went to bathe, I ate first, and after he's done, I went to bathe. Take turns ya? And the duck rice is really nice. =)
(something i felt strange about his house. He hung his Padlock upside down. LOL)

Headed to office after that, and we were both standing from Yew Tee all the way to Eunos because the train's damn packed. I was feeling so sleepy already cause I claimed that I woke up too early. Lol.

Finished my work and I left around 6pm, too tired to continue anything. Reached home around 7pm, and I wanted to sleep, but I stoned and thought about what I shouldn't again.

Always when I set my mind onto something, it works. But when I'm left alone, my mind shifts away again. And God Damn Shit, time isn't helping to heal, it makes me feel worse. =/

All that I can do, is to watch you, from far away..

chances..

2009-06-23T01:16:00.004+08:00

i'll just use this skin as my temporary skin for e moment, have no time to change or do anything about it. so readers, please do not mind the side bars, coz im not editing it as this skin is damn ugly and i just dont like it. haha

woke up around 11am, headed down to office to sumbit sales and did some recruitment, outcome was pretty good i should say. hahaha.

nth much happens in my life almost everyday, but many unwanted feelings keep coming back to me.

I NEED SOME LOVE.

i think that's what i need.. haha, u'll never understand living in a life, without love from family members.

Recently, alot of people came talking to me. hmm, one of them is from Mr Nick's BM group. this guy called jun jie came to ask me, how come u can do VE so long? i stuck SE i v sian.. haha, and he's not the only one. If u're reading this, then this is for u. Or for whoever who wanna know why i perservere, when there are so much to go through, so many obstacles.

I stayed in VE, is not because of money, status or anything. i felt that being in this company, yes, it taught me alot of things. Throughout my 2 years of hardwork here, i don't deny i didn't achieve a single thing. I was rewarded with countless benefits, and I really appreciate it. Yes, this is my career, so whatever i did wrongly, be it whether is it in VE or not, or regarding my personal life, i always give myself a chance to make things right. Some people tell themselves; OK, i'm trying another time, (e.g. piano lessons ), if i fail again, i will quit learning that god-damn thing.

I don't know about u guys, perhaps i should say, Winners never quit, Quitters never win. I feel in order to do well in whatever aspects of our life, we ought to give ourselves a chance. But how many chances do we always give ourselves? For me, I give myself unlimited chances. How about you?

Even in my own personal life, or i should say my love life, I really do love her alot, every morning it's about her when i wake up. And the funniest thing is because my ringtone is love paradise, so Jiuyuan called me this morning, and my ringtone goes: u're always on my mind, ....... Idk why, but i pictured her voice so clearly like she was singing to me, then when i was awake, only to disappointment, it was only a dream. Yes, i'm still waiting, i just love her too much, and ever since she stepped into my life, I think no other girls, can replace her position in my heart anymore.

I give myself unlimited chances, how about you?

desires

2009-06-20T16:51:00.002+08:00

i just woke up. wooo! hadnt been sleeping this much lately. yay tmr im going gym with nick and jiuyuan. LOL

ytd was a long day, went off from office only like around 2am. headed to bukit timah for supper, then back home to play my facebook. restaurant city and my zoo. hahaha.
and..

congratz to xinyi for promoting to mm.
all the way to hui miao for her manager position.

and me, fighting for car incentive lor. =/
sadded. so difficult. LOL

we were meant to be together, just that i screwed things up.

mid life crisis

2009-06-19T01:24:00.006+08:00

had a long day today, it was ivan's birthday, so we celebrated for him, the cake looks damn funny, but damn delicious. hahaha..

after e celebration, we had some training.. hui miao keep losing. lol. and after that, headed out to supper with collegues. e food there is damn digusting, but i was too hungry so i finished everything up, even liyun's food. LOL. hahaha!!

then mr steven was making fun of the consultants in e company in-conjunction with the up and coming event of our company. lol. really laughed like mad, then we drove liyun home, then mschelsy send me home. =)

this was taken 2 days ago, omg look at the amount of people. =.=

ivan's cake. lol, look damn funny. chosen by our BGM. hahaha! =D

Happy birthday my friend. Best Wishes To You! ('',)

for e past few days, been doing nothing productive again. i guess even if i'm not in need of cash, or results, i think i need to pick myself up and move on. Cause e team needs me.

went through my past photos and chat logs together with her. many feelings came churning back to me, i went through e chat logs and i found out that actually, she had been a good girl to me, i was the bastard all way long. i couldnt believe that i typed and say that she was a typical girl, she's wasting my time. im just being a bastard.. i love her, yet i didnt cherish what i had, knowing my mistakes now wont help, but at least i know i won't make it again.

there are too much things to be blogged out. i have alot to say but i'll just keep it in my heart. coz this is public.

her smile melts my heart.
missed e days she hugged me so tightly.
i miss her kisses.
i love her for who she is.
but nothing's gonna change e fact, she had left me..

nul saranghe sewuli jinado

unforgettable memories

2009-06-15T23:53:00.002+08:00

haven't been seriously packing my room, things are going out of hand, in e mess, to e extend i cant find my contact lenses sometimes. gotta do spring cleaning soon. =/

woke up around 1pm, headed down to office sleepily. was playing the whole night. initial plans was to play pool at bukit timah, but after that, we headed to a nearby void deck and gambled instead. lol, i won four thousand dollars plus. but purposely lost back to my friend coz we didnt want to eat so much of his money, so i took back only four hundred and fifty. lol. better than nth ya? =/

as per normal, meetings from 7pm to 10pm, every monday. zz, then i headed home alone.. felt totally uncomfortable coz memories are coming back and refraining me from moving on again. dreamt of her last night, the whole night in fact, and how i wish, i never woke up from my dreams.. i just cannot forget..

And it's the happy moments we had that i thought of always, making me live utterly in regret for the silly and ugly mistakes i made..